When I sat down to write this post about the power of positivity, I was in a great mood and I wanted to share it and hopefully inspire someone who was having a less great day.
My focus shifted, though, when I heard of the death of charming young man.
Without going into names or what happened, I would like to honor the memory of this young man, and join with his loved ones in mourning his passing, and the loss of his future.
I pray for their comfort as they pass through this torturous time, though I know no words will ease the loss they feel.
If you have someone from your life story like this – someone you mourn whose life was cut short – or someone you mourn who lived to a ripe old age but is missed and ached for – I would also like to honor his or her memory and join with you in mourning the loss of their life and their future – and I pray for your comfort as you pass through this painful time.
The next time you complain about someone or get upset with the way they are, do yourself a favor; stop and think about what I’m sharing here, instead.
Here’s a way of thinking that you can adopt to help you see things in a healthier light. And when you see things in a healthier light, your life will flow in a positive direction.
So here goes.
On the surface, we’re all quite different from one another. For the most part, we may have different goals and different ways of achieving them. We go through different relationships in hopes to find the people who are most compatible with us. We try different work to find one that most suits us. We explore different things to see what most complement our interests.
Along the way we may find things that once interest us now no longer fit into our lives.
We’re constantly learning, growing and evolving. Some of us do this faster than others – eager to know more, do more, be more, have more. And there are others who are too afraid of change and rather settle on having learned enough. And then there are those who settle between these two extremes.
Whatever the case, my point is this: Though we may all seem different on the surface, we do, however, share the same ultimate desire. This desire is the driving force that causes each of us to do what we do. The desire is… to be happy.
We could argue that it is fulfillment or wealth that we’re really after; or that it is joy, understanding, love, peace, power, or even health. But it really doesn’t matter how you describe it; these are all just different forms of the “ultimate goal” – to experience “happiness.” That’s what it all boils down to.
No matter how “right” or “wrong” we get, “good” or “bad,” we’re all just trying to find some form of happiness. Think about it; think about everything you’ve done. What was the ultimate feeling you were trying to achieve?
Whether you were having an argument with a loved one, working towards a goal, lying your way out of a situation, trying to make more money, you have your reasons. But no matter how you look at those reasons, the bottom line is: you want to experience some form of happiness – be it fulfillment, accomplishment, love or importance.
On our quest to find happiness, most of us can act in ways that don’t appear to support our ultimate goal of being happy. We fight, complain, compete, yell, belittle, blame, lie, manipulate and plain old disrespect. Is this really the way to achieve happiness? I think we can agree that they don’t sound like behaviors that promote or complement happy.
If we want to be happy, shouldn’t we be leaning more toward behaviors that are in alignment with happy? Such as patience, understanding, compassion, honest communication, gratitude, kindness, non-judgement… (you get the picture).
Saying this, however, I want to be clear that it’s okay to feel negative emotions and act out negative human behaviors. It is normal. It is natural. These feelings and behaviors serve a purpose. They are the things that trigger pain in order to help us learn, grow and do better.
These negativities, if you will, are just as much a part of you as the positivities. It is in accepting both your light and dark sides that makes you complete. You can’t be complete if you only know one spectrum of yourself and not the other; you can’t truly know happiness if you’ve never felt its opposite, or know what works for you if you’ve never experienced the things that don’t.
One side of you cannot truly exist without the other. And so it is that we have all these qualities within us, light and dark, that surface depending on what’s happening around and within us. And it is from these experiences of both light and dark that we can choose what suits us best, and how we want to live.
As Dr. Deepak Chopra would say: “When we are willing to embrace both the light and the dark sides of our selves, we can begin to heal both our selves and our relationships.” (Dr. Chopra is a world-renowned authority in the field of mind-body healing, best-selling author, and a global force in the field of human empowerment.)
Though these “negative” feelings and behaviors are well in order to serve their purpose for existence, however, they can be a hindrance if we don’t learn from them and move on. They can’t serve us well when we choose to dwell in them for an extended period of time – when we let them drown us into more darkness rather than use them to realize more light.
Even though we all ultimately want to achieve happiness, the choices each of us make and the path we take to get there are not going to be the same. So we will run into people who we will have much in common with and agree with, just as we will also run into others we don’t agree with.
The ones we don’t agree with, we have a tendency to judge or even condemn. Deep down we want to think we’re better. We point out why they’re wrong so we can prove how we’re right. But here’s where I want to remind you that there’s really no “need” for you to do this.
You see, when you spend your time judging or complaining, you’re truly hurting yourself because you’re putting your energy in the wrong places, therefore, your life cannot flow. Ever noticed people who spend time complaining about others are also the very same people whose life isn’t flowing smoothly?
When you understand that we’re all working toward the same ultimate goal of finding happiness – and that each of us have our own set of challenges along the way that cause us to act or react the way we do – you can have a little more compassion and patience toward others.
You will understand that they, too, in their own way – regardless of how they may appear on the surface – are having a hard time finding a balance between their light and dark sides.
You don’t have to agree with the way they are, but you now understand that life challenges affect everyone differently. Some may even choose to react in an “evil” way and some, not so much. Whatever the case, it helps not to judge anyone. After all, we all do share something powerful in common – we all just want to be happy. So what’s there to judge, really?
So don’t be too concerned with other people’s path and life challenges. Do not waste energy condemning or criticizing. Instead, move along with class and civility while focusing on your own journey. This will save you more energy to focus on emotions that will contribute to what you need to do rather than take away from it.
Should you adopt this way of thinking, you’ll experience your life to flow more in your favor. And things that begin to happen to you may even feel miraculous. But you’ll soon learn that those “miraculous” things that are happening are not so much the result of miracles as they are the result of your deliberate intention to adopt a healthier way of thinking.
In closing, I’ll leave you with more words of wisdom from world-renowned author and leader of human empowerment, Dr. Deepak Chopra:
“Intention springs from our deepest desires, and those desires are shaped by karma. You and I don’t have the same karma; therefore we don’t have exactly the same desires. We have loved different people, knelt at different graves, prayed at different altars. The specifics of desire are unique to each of us.
Yet if you follow the chain of desire, in the end we are all the same. We want to be happy. We want to be fulfilled. We want meaning and purpose in our lives. We want a sense of connection with God or spirit.
We want other people to respect us and love us. And we want to feel safe. These desires are universal. But the route each of us takes to satisfy them is uniquely our own, based on our individual experiences and memories, or karma. We’re all heading for the same destination, but we take different roads. We arrive together, having traveled our different paths.”
Relationship is one of the most effective tools for spiritual evolution because we’re always in relationships. Think of the web of relationships you have at any time—friends, parents, children, colleagues, teachers, lovers, even enemies. All are, at their heart, spiritual experiences.
Where would you be without all those lessons learned through relationships? Could you have grown into the person you are today? Could you have known the things you know today?
If you think back to all the little things we do for each other, and pay attention to some of the events that have unfolded as a result of them, you’ll learn to recognize the impact we have on one another, everyday.
I want to take this time to remind you that you all matter to many, in more ways than you know. I see this everyday and everywhere, and am grateful for it. Let me give you an example.
In the late 80’s soon after my move from Malaysia to Canada, I found myself being antagonized by a group of students I barely knew at my high school. Maybe I didn’t quite understand their culture; perhaps my English wasn’t perfect; or maybe my clothes didn’t suit their taste. Who knows? But they seemed to enjoy tormenting me. They often threatened me, called me names and threw things at me and laughed.
I dreaded recess because I knew I would bump into them. I was afraid of them. I was afraid of getting in trouble and I was afraid I would disappoint my family if I retaliated or hurt anyone. Most of all, I was angry with myself for feeling so weak.
Feeling scared, sad and angry all at the same time, I kept my composure when I asked my art teacher, Ms. Kroeker, if I could spend my lunchtime in the art studio to practice my artwork. I even convinced her to lock the door so I could “keep a better eye on all the art supplies.” She never questioned me. She was always very good to me.
To this day, Ms. Kroeker doesn’t even know the truth about what she’s done for me just by doing me that “little” favor. You see, while I was locked in the art studio each day during lunchtime, I came to realize that I was a good artist. I soon understood why Ms. Kroeker always praised my work. She believed in me long before I even believed in myself.
Learning to appreciate my own creativity was just my uncovering a piece of the puzzle. There was more. Being locked in at lunchtime gave me a safe place to be, to think, and to do some soul searching.
And with this opportunity to reflect, something inside me began to change. I was sick of feeling scared; sick of being locked in; sick of allowing others to have so much control over the way I felt. I knew that sooner or later I would have to face up to my fears and stand up for myself.
I had to unplug from a negative beliefpattern about myself that had no truth but nonetheless had “power” over me. I knew I had to stop judging myself and give myself permission to do what’s right for me.
I was ready. I gave myself permission to be free – to have lunch like everyone else. It wasn’t long before my tormentors spotted me in the cafeteria. I felt something bad was going to happen but I kept my cool and went about my business until one of them decided to creep up from behind to attack me. That was when I lost it. I detonated.
In that little moment in time, every social grace I’ve ever adopted went out the window. I had to do what came naturally—defend myself. Though I held a black belt in Karate at the time, I must admit fighting for real was very different from fighting in a ring. In the ring, we had to follow the rules. In this case, there were no rules. Anything goes.
I was striking moves I didn’t even know I was capable of just to fight not one, but three people off me. After a taste of my “temporary insanity,” all three of them scattered off like mice running away from a cat. I was in shock. Did I hurt someone? Was I hurt? Was I the cat? (Like I said, I was in a little bit of a shock.)
To make a long story short, from that day onward, things were never the same. No one tried to bother me anymore.
I learned something else along the way as a result of all this. I used to think that doing my best means I have to be in the best mood or else I’m just not doing my best. Or my best has to be this awe-encompassing deal, or else it’s not good enough. I’m glad to say I was wrong.
The truth is that your best is going to change from moment to moment, and that’s okay. It will be different when you are healthy as oppose to sick, happy as oppose to sad. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Doing your best means doing the most natural thing for you in each moment – making decisions to move away from what you don’t want and more towards the things you do want. And if this means you have to take a few steps back in order to move forward, that’s okay, too.
Doing your best also means making each moment for yourself a little better than the last. This does not necessarily mean that the next step you take will put you in an ideal place right away. It may not even make you happy in that moment. But nonetheless it is a necessary step in order to move towards your ideal outcome.
And if those steps you take should somehow lead you to fall hard along the way, that’s okay, too. Just know that sometimes we have to fall in order to rise again—stronger than before.
In my previous article I mentioned that “Thoughts become Things” and in order for you to get the things that you really want and desire you need to make sure that there is little or no contamination of your subconscious. Well that is easier said than done, as we all have baggage in our subconscious minds to some extent. The thing is we need to make a definite decision to clean up our mental act. If we don’t we are constantly attracting things that we don’t want. Thoughts become things whether those things are positive or not. So in order to achieve our goals and attain that which we desire we have to make sure that anything that might keep us back is eliminated.
One of the things keeping you back from within your subconscious might be “Life Sentences”, as written about in my recent book “Freeing Your Mind!”If you have not read the book as yet, and still have no idea what a “Life Sentence” is I will give you the exact wording that I used in the book to explain the concept:“Life Sentences are sentences that you have heard or thought, and accepted as truth. It can be any sentence, a cliché, it could be something that was said frequently to you by your parents for example, or a once-off sentence spoken to you or by you or even only thought by you. You said it, or heard it and accepted it as truth in your life”. These Life Sentences as the book explains keep us in bondage from achieving all that we want to achieve, subconsciously often attracts negative elements into our lives and prevents us from reaching our goals. In actual fact they often keep you from even setting your goals in the first place.
The trick is first to start seeing the possibilities of these negative elements or “Life Sentences” in your subconscious. That’s really what this blog and my daily motivational and Power Lists are about. You see although each of us is unique in our own way, our minds work very much the same and in that way you are absolutely no different from me or anyone. One tends to look at people who succeed or achieve great things with some kind of awe. You might think they must have done something special, that they are more deserving than you, had more opportunities or we attribute some other misguided perceptions to them. You are not alone in that type of reasoning and that’s the problem. The vast majority of the world thinks like that and that’s simply not true.
We somehow think that we are not worthy, and that we were destined to live average lives. In these blog articles I often talk about getting out of the “rut” and I thought perhaps I should clarify what a “rut” is. Well you are in a rut if you do the same (similar) thing every day, not because you are happy, but because you did it yesterday, the day before, and the day before that and because other people as well as yourself have come to expect it of you. You also do it because it feels easier to just keep doing what you are doing than any possible alternative. You don’t necessarily have to be unhappy (although many people are) but you are not really over the moon either. Getting out of the rut does not necessarily mean a complete change of lifestyle. You could still be doing the majority of what you are doing now, you would be just be doing it for the right reasons and you could add some spark and some enthusiasm and some peace of mind to the mix.
You have all you need to be great right there within you! All it takes initially is for you to make that decision. It’s almost like saying that you must peer through the mind numbing clouds of average, lift your focus above the foggy fetters of mediocrity and glimpse the bright shiny diamond of hope.
I am offering to you, right here and now, a hand up. Imagine you are in a deep ditch and I am reaching down offering you a hand to pull you up out of it. You have been keeping an eye out for that hand otherwise you would not have been reading this. So reach up in your mind’s-eye right now as I am reaching down in my own mind to you! Grab hold of my hand and I will pull you out of that rut! Say out loud; “I can do this! I will do this! I owe it to myself to do this.” Stand up walk around a bit. Breathe in deeply, and feel the energy, the rush and waves of a new beginning come over you. And that is the start! You are on the brink of success. Is there some hard work to do? Sure! Are there some habits to break? No doubt! But the decision is made – average is not an option anymore!
The next step is to start working on your self-image, as often this is the reason we got stuck in the rut in the first place. I have mentioned this in prior articles as well. A good way of doing this is by getting a journal! You might think that writing stuff down is stupid, or not necessary but in actual fact writing things down in black and white (same as with goals) helps you to understand and visualise any problems you need to overcome, it helps to imprint positive images in your mind and it also helps you to track and see your own self-growth. I personally use an A4 hardcover school exercise book, but don’t specifically wait till you have one of those. Open up a page in your MSWord or even Notepad or find a piece of black paper. Put a big heading on one page stating “I will overcome …” and write down some of the things you are struggling with in your own mind about yourself underneath it so that you will know and acknowledge the fact that they are things that need to be dealt with and know that soon you will have conquered them. There is much truth in the old saying “face your fears”. Open another page by writing down some positive things about yourself. “I am alive” “I am able to write” “I can think” “I deserve to succeed”. This is only the start of building a good self-image.
You also need to start reading and listening to good stuff. In a way feed your mind some “good food”. After all we are what we eat, and the same goes for our minds. Clutter it up and stuff your mind with junk food and negativity and negative thoughts will fatten it up. My book “Freeing Your Mind” is an excellent easy read and a definite first step to helping you on your new course of action. It will also help you to lose some “mind weight” by targeting some of those negative elements in your subconscious to help rid you of them. I will revisit “Life Sentences” in the next article to tell you a bit more about it but if you can’t wait for the next article or if you want the full picture behind it as the blog articles will only touch on the basics anyway due to the length, then buy the book and get out of your rut today. Also this blog contains some good filler material, so read back into prior articles or search the internet for related material. There is plenty of other stuff to support you out there. Sign up for my daily motivation, if you need a little support and encouragement every day. Write to me and tell me of your decision and your plans. I would love to hear from you.
You can do this and I will be glad to help!
Remember Henry Ford’s saying: “If you think you can or think you can’t, you are right”. I think you can and now you need to think and know you can too … all that’s left is that you are now going to think you can also!
“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success” –Napoleon Hill.
While a Marketing student about a decade ago, we were taught the 4 P’s in our first year and later taught the 7 P’s. This categorization made it much easier to remember the variables of what in Marketing parlance is termed the Marketing mix. Akin to the 4 P’s of the marketing mix is what the world renowned Best-selling motivational author, Napoleon Hill considers “an unbeatable combination for success” and which I prefer to term “the 3 P’s for success.” These include patience, persistence and perspiration as itemized by Napoleon Hill in the quote above. It is my candid opinion that the 3 P’s for success are non-negotiable and are an absolute necessity on the route to success. In as much as these traits are certainly not the only requirements for success, they are irreplaceable.
Success may mean different things to different people. However, for the purpose of clarity and in the context of this write-up, I wish to define success as completing an objective or reaching a goal. A young person who aims at becoming a millionaire at age forty and who eventually achieves it within the specified period of time may be considered to have succeeded. Another who dreams of graduating from the university with a degree in Law and who in time graduates with a degree in Law has in essence succeeded in reaching his or her goal. Success simply has to do with accomplishing ones dreams, goals and aspirations.
It was Jean-Jacques Rousseau, the Genevan philosopher, writer and composer who once rightly noted: “Patience is bitter, but its fruits are sweet.” This is exemplified in vivid terms in the occupation of farming. Farmers plant their crops with expectation of a harvest but also with the understanding that they will have to wait for weeks, months or even years, depending on the kind of crops planted. They thus plant their crops and provide the necessary care while they wait patiently for harvest time. It will be mission aborted and certainly a misnomer should a cultivator of Chinese bamboo trees destroy what he or she has planted (while still below the earth surface) with the pretext that the trees he or she planted are not growing or that they are taking too long to grow. It is common knowledge that the Chinese bamboo takes a couple of years to as much as shot out of the ground, let alone grow into maturity. The point of this illustration is to drum home the fact that in life, any accomplishment of significance takes time; sometimes longer than one may expect. This makes patience a necessity, less great dreams are aborted. Thomas Alva Edison once noted: “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” If only they had been a little more patient. Anold H. Glasow made an insightful and brilliant observation when he stated: “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.”
The value of persistence on the route to success cannot be overemphasized. It simply is a must have if one is to go far in life. Thomas Alva Edison, the prolific inventor and entrepreneur once stated: “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Similarly, Elbert Hubbard, American writer, publisher, artist and philosopher stated thus: “A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.”Samuel Johnson, English poet, essayist, editor and lexicographer caps it up when he observed thus: “Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.”
The struggles of Abraham Lincoln, the famed and revered former United States president epitomizes the virtue of persistence in the pursuit of one’s dreams and aspirations. In 1831, Abraham Lincoln failed in business. In 1832, he was defeated for State legislator. In 1833, Abraham Lincoln tried a new business, and failed. In 1835, his fiancée died. In 1836, Abraham Lincoln had a nervous breakdown. In 1843, Abraham Lincoln ran for Congress and was defeated. In 1848, Lincoln ran again, and was defeated. In 1855, Lincoln run for the Senate, and lost. In 1856, he ran for vice president and lost. In 1859, Lincoln ran again for the Senate. He was defeated. In spite of such a long streak of humiliating failures, he incessantly chose the path of persistence. It eventually paid off when in 1860; Abraham Lincoln was elected president of the United States. A perceptive mind wisely noted: “What matters most is not how many times you fail, but that you never stop trying.”
Perspiration essentially connotes hard work as against slothfulness. It was Thomas Alva Edison who retorted thus: “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” He further noted: “There is no substitute for hard work.” This observation ought not be taken lightly especially when it comes from one credited with numerous inventions, the first industrial research laboratory, and one who held over 1,093 patents in his name across the United States, United Kingdom, France and Germany. His phenomenal accomplishments are well documented and speak for themselves. Hard work obviously pays. If you doubt this, ask the ant. Even when people speak of working smart, it still boils down to hard work; thinking is hard work and thinking is a necessary route to working smart.
One of my all-time favourite inspirational quotes comes from the pen of the renowned poet, scholar and novelist, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. He creatively underscored the value of hard work when he once stated: “The heights that great men reached were not by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” A similar train of thought can be inferred from a statement attributed to Ray Bradbury, an American novelist, essayist, playwright, screen writer and poet when he sought to give some encouragement to persons who aspired to be writers. He noted: “Any man who keeps working is not a failure. He may not be a great writer but if he applies the old-fashioned virtue of hard, constant labour, he’ll eventually make some kind of a career for himself.”
For as many as desire to succeed in one area or the other, the ball is in your court. Go ahead, play it and play it well fully armed with the 3 P’s of success and you have it made. Patience, persistence and perspiration most certainly make an indefatigable and indomitable mishmash for success.
I am a Freelance writer, Professional marketer and the founder of Top-notch Writing Solutions. I have written for several magazines including HR Focus Magazine, MM Focus Magazine, Optimum Magazine and Step Magazine. My articles, short stories and poems have also been featured in several newspapers in my home country and on over twenty websites and blogs. I am always available for hire. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Blog: http://danieldeladunoo.blogspot.com /http://theroyalwordsmithgh.wordpress.com
Have you ever heard the saying, your smile is your best accessory? A simple smile can brighten up a day, isn’t it? Have you ever had a bad day, and then you see a baby smile at you? Didn’t you feel as light as a feather? That simple gesture took away all your burdens and worries and suddenly you felt just good.
People don’t really realize how powerful a smile can be, it can make miracles, it works like magic. Imagine what you can do and perform just by flaunting your nice wide smile? And the best part about it is, it’s free! So, wherever you may go, don’t forget to flash those teeth and smile! Here are some of the best reasons why you should smile!
It’s good for your health
Scientific studies show that when a person smiles, the brain releases a chemical message called endorphin. Endorphin when released, sends a feel-good message throughout your body, thus it relieves your stress and lowers your blood pressure. Smiling can also release natural pain killers which explain the sudden calmness you experience when you smile. It can also boost your immune system because it improves the immune function of your system because your body is more relaxed and at peace.
Thinking of having a facelift? Take a cheaper version by just smiling instead. Smiling lifts the face muscles so it will make you look younger!
It builds relationships
Have you ever experienced meeting someone on the bus or on the train and being good friends with that person just because you smiled at each other once? The truth is, when you smile, you look friendlier and more approachable that people will immediately feel the positivity in your personality and be friends with you.
Smiling can also steer you away from any misunderstandings, even with the latest gadgets nowadays, a smile is still evident. Just when sending text messages you add that little smiley emoticon so your friend on the other line will not misinterpret our messages as sarcastic.
It can make you happier
Smiling is contagious! When one smiles, it can make another one smile too. A smile can be some sort of a therapy that could turn every gray and blue day yellow. Smiling has special powers that you can’t believe it is capable of doing, like calming fears, insecurities, hurt and anxiety.
Do not underestimate the power of your smile. Always remind yourself of the goodness of this simple act of positivity, put it in your reminders in your smartphone if need be.
If you’re having one of those days where you are impatient and angry and just in one of those moods – you’re not alone because I am too – so these patience quotes are for you (and me) and I hope at least one of them helps you find your center and regain balance and a more even mood.
5 Patience Quotes for When You Really Just Want to Kick Some Butt
“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.” -Joyce Meyer
I picked this Joyce Meyer quote for my first quote today because it speaks to exactly what is going on with me and I felt a tiny rush of “yes – this – exactly this” – when I saw it.
For me, I feel stuck as far as my work goes and I’m not sure what to do next – and it’s making me edgy and irritable.
If that’s where you are too, today, feeling stuck and irritable, whether it’s a relationship issue or a work issue, or something else altogether causing your impatience or frustration – if things are not just how you want them to be – the simple act of keeping your wits about you and focusing on the things that are good in your life can help you through it.
“Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” – Robert Schuller
I picked this Robert Schuller quote because it’s so easy to rush to action when you are stressed because it’s human nature to want resolution and inner peace, but those hasty decisions are rarely ever the wisest choices.
I know – so well – that staying calm and waiting out an emotional hailstorm is just about the toughest thing to do, but it’s so important to hold on sometimes, and wait for the right answer instead of snatching hold of the first easy answer.
“Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.” _ Napoleon Hill
It’s so easy to give up on something that’s hard, and while I believe there can be a time to let go, like if you’re in a relationship that is destroying you or a career that is floundering, if you know in your heart that you are doing what you are meant to do, then holding onto patience and persistence, and then throwing in some hard work will get you where you belong – maybe not on your desired time schedule – but in the long run.
Breathe Deep and Hold Onto Inner Peace
“How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success.” – Elbert Hubbard
If you’re struggling with patience right now, first, thanks for sticking with me this far and reading the patience quotes I picked to share today.
Just finding them and putting my thoughts into words has helped me get my breath and feel better about things, and I hope reading them has helped you, too.
When things get really hairy, remember to stop and take a deep breath or two before reacting.
Don’t make your decisions in haste if you can help it, because hasty decisions that are made when you are tense and all tied up in knots over a situation you don’t like, rarely turn out well.
“He that can have patience can have what he will.” – Benjamin Franklin
I wanted to end with this Benjamin Franklin quote because, well, I found it inspiring that one of history’s most famous people summed up the value of being patient and looking at the long-term results in a such a concise and beautiful sentence.
All of us have bad habits that we know we shouldn’t be doing but we do them anyway. Or, more accurately, we have a list of things we should be doing but we aren’t doing them!
You know the ones I’m talking about – regular visits to the gym, a healthy diet, dealing with an awkward customer or staff member, spending quality time with the family. Whatever the reason, we often stand in our own way of living a truly amazing and rewarding life.
Here’s an effective way to change bad habits into successful habits that will have a powerful impact on your life for the better!
Successful people have adopted good habits that continue to move them forward in a positive manner in both their personal and business lives. Fortunately, success leaves clues. Identifying the steps that other successful people have taken to improve their lives, and you’ll discover how to enjoy the same outstanding results.
Check out this easy two step process to help you turn your bad habits into good ones:
Take a good look at the bad habits that are holding you back. This might be an education in the obvious! Make a list of all the habits that keep you unproductive. Here are some common examples of bad habits that prevent our success:
Lack of clarity of expectations
Not attending to paperwork
Working long days with no exercise and poor eating habits
Having your cell phone on all the time
Lack of sleep and healthy life choices
Choose an accountability partner, like a coach or a positive mentor, to help you transition from bad habits to successful habits. Make sure you work with someone who will call you out when needed and keep you accountable.
Identify a role model or someone who is living a lifestyle you want. Take them out for lunch and ask them good, pre-planned questions about their routine. What clubs or networking events do they attend? How do they schedule their time? What is their daily routine? Listen well and take notes becausethis will be your blueprint for adapting successful habits. So, ask away!
Truly successful people welcome the opportunity to help those who want to help themselves, so don’t hesitate to make contact as soon as you can!
You’ll also find lots of great advice and powerful ideas to implement by reading autobiographies of successful people. For example, you’ll find excellent advice in the following books:
The GE Way by Jack Welch
The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People by Stephen Covey
The Power of Focus by Jack Canfield
Your decision to change bad habits to successful habits will be the most defining decision of your life, so chose wisely!
Do you ever feel like you are never listened to? Or perhaps no one responds to you when you are talking. This can be extremely frustrating and lead to fights and an extremely unsatisfying relationship. How can you improve your connections with your significant other that will pay off in dividend? Here are some communication “tune-up” tips that work:
First, in order to communicate effectively, you have to have the other person’s attention. The best way to do that is to look your partner in the eye. When you have connected eye contact, you are better able to read body language, such as nodding or facial expressions to confirm you are both present.
Second, another key aspect of this process is active empathetic listening. This process shows that you understand what is going on inside of the mind of the speaker as if you were that person. It is not enough to just say that you heard your spouse’s words; you need to show that you know how the other person feels.
How do you show that? By reflecting back what was said to you both verbally and nonverbally. For example, a wife comes through the door after work and says that the bus was late; she doesn’t have enough time to cook dinner and go workout; and by the way, the checking account is over drawn. Doing active listening, the husband, instead of reacting to the checking account balance or the no dinner, gently says, “It sounds like a lot of things went wrong today. I would be very frustrated too”. This clearly demonstrates that the wife’s complaints were actually heard. Once this type of response has been made, a channel is there to discuss her feelings and find a resolution to the evening plans without bickering and fighting.
The third tip is to leave blaming and judgments out of your conversations. The best way to do this is to use “I” statements instead of “You” statements. For example, in the above illustration, the husband could have said to the wife, “You always run late, dinner is never ready on time and furthermore, you are financially incompetent!” Instead he said, “I would feel frustrated too”. Thus, the wife would not feel blamed, and be less likely to react defensively. Furthermore, using this language technique allows partners to feel empathy for each and look for solutions in lieu of retribution.
The fourth recommendation is to directly ask for how you want the other person to respond. For example, if you have had a frustrating day like the woman in the above story, tell your partner that you want to vent and you just want him to LISTEN. By doing this, you are taking care of your feelings and needs and allowing the other person to be supportive by just letting you blow off steam.
Therefore, as a suggestion, if your goal is to get your husband to listen, simply say, “I only want you to listen, I do not want you to fix anything, I just want you to hear what I have to say.”
The fifth piece of advice is to appreciate the differences in the way you communicate. Your partner may prefer to write about her feelings instead of vocalizing them. In contrast, the other partner may chose to go for a run or walk after an argument to clear his head and then reconvene to work on solutions. These differences should be cherished because when you appreciate the unique communication style of the other person; you will get along better and be able to nurture a healthy relationship.
Here at Peace Talks, we are all about communication… Educating parties about the skills they can use to reconnect or to make their transition to a new type of family entity a smooth one. By educating excellent relationship skills, we help partners and families stay connected for life!
About the Author
Peace Talks is a collaborative divorce mediation firm that helps spouses file for a divorce in a sane and sensible manner. Peace Talks provides divorce mediation services in Los Angeles and throughout California. We have family law attorneys, family therapists and financial consultants who can help you file for a divorce in a way that is less expensive than the courts in Los Angeles and California. Visit www.peace-talks.com to learn more about how you can have a peaceful and amicable divorce in Los Angeles.
Over the past few months, the concepts of stripping back the superfluous, simplifying and pulling apart the true meaning of integrity have been strong personal themes. For many people, there’s a drive to again inspect old patterns that continue to run happily in the background despite years of self-examination. Perhaps under the direction of a new global energy, there’s a sense of being able to lovingly let go of those things that have served us all well on one level, yet have offered excuses to stay small on another.
I came across Don Miguel Ruiz’ “The Four Agreements” the other day and it strongly resonated with this desire to pare back; to simplify; to become more real as a participant in this world and begin operating in a more authentic way.
With these 4 simple tenets, we could literally change the way we as humans operate in this world. How do they resonate with you? Please feel free to share your thoughts, we’d love to hear from you.
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
About The Author
Awareness Institute is an organic community of professionally trained facilitators, clinicians and healers committed to inspiring an evolutionary shift in human consciousness. We value community, personal empowerment, integrity and self-responsibility through areas such as Energetic Healing, Psychic Development, Shamanic Practices, Contemporary Astrology, Transformative Meditation, Reiki and Living Your Soul/Life Purpose.