Before I get started on this review, I’d like to share that I received compensation and a free copy of this book, The Ultimate Guide to Influencer Marketing by Joe Sinkwitz with a foreword by Dave Snyder, in exchange for posting an honest review here on Intrinsic Vicissitude.
I chose the Kindle version of the book because I love being able to start reading as soon as I get inspired by a topic.
One specific thing I liked about this book is that it includes information for both digital publishers and influencers.
I’m so happy to say I didn’t find anything I specifically disliked about the book; though I will note that it’s written for advanced readers.
My “day job” is copywriting for other businesses, and one thing that’s frequently stressed is to keep writing at around a fifth-grade to eighth-grade reading level to make it comfortable and enjoyable for readers, and I would guess this to be written at a level geared toward an advanced-level reader.
Influencer Marketing for Digital Publishers
One thing I deal with every day, as a small digital publisher, is figuring everything out on my own. So, I look for books that include information on how to do things to make my sites successful. That’s one reason I wanted to review this book, and really, I would have read it whether I had received a free copy or not. (That part was just a bonus on top of the info I got from the book.)
While I don’t want to give away the specific tips I found in the book that cover my situation and apply to my sites, I would like to mention that I found a lot of actionable information. When I read this type of instructional book, I read looking for things I can do that apply to whatever aspect of digital publishing I’m working on right then.
Influencer Marketing for Influencers
This is where this book, The Ultimate Guide to Influencer Marketing, which is available on Amazon, really becomes a “win” for me. I get to enjoy life from both sides of the influencer marketing world because, in addition to being a digital publisher, I’m also dabbling in the influencer side of this equation through Intellifluence.
There’s SO much to learn about influencer marketing, though, like the part about being upfront when doing a paid review. The key seems to be in being honest, both in reviews to keep your credibility with your readers and social media followers – and with disclosures, which the book explains much better than I could.
This review is a perfect example of an influencer marketing campaign because I received something in exchange for reading and preparing an honest review of this book. (Really, though, if I hadn’t found the book “worthy”, I would have either returned what I received and declined to proceed with the opportunity or simply wrote what I thought and felt bad about it.)
Moving is a huge life change, and it can cause a lot of stress, whether you’re moving across town or to an entirely new part of the country. Browse through these easy tips for staying upbeat through the entire moving process, and share your tips for making a smooth move to new digs in the comments or on the Intrinsic Vicissitude Facebook page.
Tips to Stay Positive When Moving
Avoid the Rush: Plan extra time to pack up your belongings in peace. If you have kids, schedule packing time while they’re at school or a babysitter’s so you can focus.
Use a Label-Maker: Mark each box you pack with both the room it goes to and a general list of its contents. This help keep the move organized and reduces confusion when you reach your new home.
Separate Things You Need to Have Handy: Pack the things you don’t expect to need immediately, and pack an overnight bag with the things you need sooner, like spare clothes and grooming supplies.
Know Where Your Treasures Are: Few things are more stressful and mood-wrecking than losing the things you value. If you expect to return for visits, consider putting your valuable things in a safe-deposit box. If you don’t expect to be back, consider keeping them on your person during the move.
Take Advantage of The Opportunity to Declutter: Clutter creates stress, so when you combine clutter with moving, it can really increase the amount of pressure you feel. Sell things you don’t really need on auction sites, or give away to charity for receipts you can use to get deductions when filing your taxes.
Advantages of Moving to a Big City Like Atlanta
Whether you prefer the lifestyle of the suburbs or the inner city, there are advantages to moving to a big city like Atlanta – and those advantages can add to how positive you feel.
Selection of Housing Types: When you’re browsing through the selection of Atlanta homes for sale, it’s a breeze to find something that fits your taste and your lifestyle. You’ll notice styles that range from charming cabins to ranch-style homes, double-story family homes with porches to sit and relax, and mansions that practically ooze elegance.
Proximity to Amenities That Enhance Quality of Life: Living close to or in the city delivers advantages like being close to cultural venues, fitness activities, clubs, and people who share your interests. All these things ease the transition when you’re moving to a new location.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you find these moving tips helpful and positivity-boosting!
I was in a car wreck in my early twenties, and over the years, the back pain has come and gone, and when it starts, it’s enough to take my breath away – but – I’ve found that regular stretching, like yoga, helps keep it from recurring.
Why Yoga Stretches Help Relieve Lower Back Pain
Yoga and stretching can take some of the aches out of chronic backaches, as noted by WebMD.
A 12-week study found that yoga class participants found increased mobility, and after six months of yoga practice, the need for pain medication to relieve back pain dropped.
Intensive stretching classes were found to have similar results among participants, so if you feel like yoga isn’t ‘your thing’, you can still use the practice of stretching to ease the lower back pain you experience.
3 Specific Yoga Stretches for Easing Back Pain
You should talk to your medical practitioner before beginning any type of exercise because the last thing you want is to do something that damages your spine more when you’re trying to ease back pain.
Having noted that, these are some yoga stretches with a reputation for relieving backaches, as detailed by Everyday Health.
Downward-Facing Dog: This pose takes a fair bit of arm strength because your weight shifts forward onto your arms as your hamstrings stretch. The stretching in the back of your legs and building your back muscles are the reasons downward dog helps relieve lower back pain.
This is a pose I struggle with and find a bit uncomfortable, so I don’t really give it the time it may deserve. If you try it, let me know what you think of it.
Upward-Facing Dog: This pose stretches your abdominal muscles and lets you relax your back muscles. It also takes arms strength, but not as much as the downward dog pose does. I find I can feel my back muscles relaxing in increments as I settle into this position, so in my opinion, it’s worth holding the pose a bit longer.
Pigeon Pose: This is similar to the exercise called ‘hurdles’ from gym class. It’s like a cross between lotus position, with one leg curled close to the front of your body, and upward dog with the other leg extended back.
It works for easing back pain because it stretches your hip rotators, and if you’re able to raise the foot of the extended leg off the ground, which is admittedly an advanced move, then it also stretches the hamstring of that leg.
If you prefer to simply stretch instead of trying yoga, look for stretching exercises that engage your core muscles, stretch the lower back, hips, and hamstrings.
Alternative Strategies to Try for Relieving Back Pain
Not all types of back injury respond to stretching, that’s why it’s so important to talk to a professional before taking on exercises that engage the spine and back muscles.
Physical Therapy: Physical therapy is an important strategy for lower back pain treatment. There are a lot of advantages to choosing physical therapy to relieve this type of pain because it combines the advice of a medical professional with effective techniques for healing.
Heat or Ice Therapy: Alternating between heat and ice therapy is known to be helpful in relieving back pain in some cases.
Therapeutic Massage: Therapeutic massage is an option that increases blood flow to stiff, achy back muscles to ease the pain.
Pain Medication: While some pain medications are available over-the-counter, it’s best to discuss the use of pain meds with a medical professional because some have side effects, and each has some limitations.
Sometimes, life is just brutal, and you need to get away from your troubles to relax and regroup. It’s just a fact of life that things go wrong, people you trust let you down, and awful things happen that can’t be fixed – and that’s when you NEED to do something good for yourself.
It Only Hurts You to Stay Mad When Someone Lets You Down
When someone lets you down, and you’re upset, the one who benefits from you letting it go – is you.
I hope you’ll excuse me using my own experience for this, but I recently had an experience where someone I trusted (a close relative) let me down – completely.
I wanted to just forgive it and not talk about it anymore, but the other person wouldn’t let it go – kept saying she had to make it right – but followed that seemingly noble sentiment with the information that there is no way to make it right.
She suggested a way to make it right – would it have? NO! But, I said, okay, let’s do that – just to have it over with. She decided she couldn’t DO that. Okay. So, quit talking about it. I’m busy and have no more time for this.
She created endless drama and stress over the course of the past three days, to the point I can’t sleep and am getting behind on my work.
I went, over the course of three days, from wanting to never talk about what she had done again and wanting to just let it go, to being utterly and completely, furious and wanting her to make it right.
This person went from apologizing over and over to trying to blame me, remember, I was the one who was betrayed, for something she did. (Typical narcissistic behavior.)
So, basically, I was starting to feel sick from internalizing the rage she was pushing on me, and I decided the conversation was over. I wrote my feelings on a sheet of paper and burned it in effigy.
It may sound silly, but I felt like the weight was lifted off my shoulders by simply letting go, and there’s actual science behind the risk of holding it in when something upsets you.
Some Things You Can Do to Get Over Feeling Hurt
Everyone deals with things differently, so browse through these ideas of ways to do something for yourself to see if you can find something that would help you let go of that ‘let down’ feeling so you can feel better.
After all, if someone lets you down, it isn’t your fault, it’s theirs. You shouldn’t suffer. They deserve to own it.
Write it out: If, like me, putting your thoughts and feelings on paper lets you release them, consider writing a letter to the offending person. You don’t have to send it. In fact, if someone hurt you, they don’t deserve to know how you really feel. That’s why I choose to burn my ‘release letters’ – I can literally watch the smoke carry my pain and anger away. I mean, I’m still kind of peeved right now, but I’m not angry like I was, and that’s better for my health.
Consider a getaway: Go somewhere like a health retreat Gold Coast for a vacation or go somewhere close for a soothing spa day.
Exercise: Choose your favorite kind of workout, from an intense boxing session to a gentle walk around the neighborhood.
Go inside yourself: Meditate or pray in a quiet spot.
Read something inspiring: Pick up a book on a topic that inspires you, or visit websites that cover topics that make you feel better about life.
When someone lets you down and they won’t ‘let it go’ – know that it’s about them and their baggage, and not about you. If you’re the victim in a situation, don’t let the other person push their guilt off onto you.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is walk away, to the extent you can, and do something positive for yourself.
Feeling Lost? Browse through these quotes (from wiser people than I am) on ways to change your life to get some potentially revitalizing ideas.
Ways to Change Your Life if You’re Feeling Lost
Shift your focus to something other than your problems.
“Love people who hate you. Pray for people who have wronged you. It won’t just change their life… it’ll change your life.” – Mandy Hale
Change what you can in a positive manner, even if it’s just something small.
“Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive alterations of your end result.” – Kevin Michel
Let it start with the way you think, all change begins inside of our minds.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein
Know there are things in life that you can’t change, accept those things and focus your energies on the things you can influence.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
Realize we aren’t meant to understand everything, and that’s okay!
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large – I contain multitudes.” – Walt Whitman
Allow yourself to be open to new ideas, you can’t achieve change in life by holding onto the things that have already failed to provide positive results.
“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” – Frederich Nietzsche
Learn all you can, read, take classes, search the internet for information, talk to people, take notes, because learning is the foundation upon which you can build a brighter, stronger future.
“Change is the end result of all true learning.” – Leo F Buscaglia
Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed putting this post together, especially since I was feeling a little lost today myself, and I hope you enjoyed these short quotes about ways to change your life when you’re feeling lost.
With free meals, nap pods, and on-site doctors, Google employees seem to have the best gig in the world. Google continues to be recognized as having the coolest culture of any company, and its employees can vouch for that. Additional perks Google provides to employees include free dry cleaning, cooking classes, and even death benefits. While some of these benefits may be unrealistic for every company to provide, there are similar perks you can offer that your employees will love. Here are a few ways you can create a Google culture at your office.
Google’s relaxed work environment is one of the things employees report loving the most, and something you can recreate in your own office. At Google, employees don’t have to be confined to their desk all day, as there are various lounge areas spread out around the campus. To implement this into your office space, try adding couches and bean bag chairs to give your employees the option of working somewhere other than their desks. While nap pods may be unrealistic for your company, consider giving employees the option to work remotely when needed. Making your office feel less like an office is one big way to create a Google-like culture for your company.
Paid Time Off
Google offers their employees a pretty generous amount of paid time off. Employees report getting three weeks of paid time off for newer employees, and up to five weeks of paid time off once they’ve been with the company for five years. Offering a generous amount of paid time off can be extremely beneficial to not only your employees, but to the overall function of your office. A well-rested, happy employee is more likely to put out good work and make the most of their time at the office, so consider this when an employee asks for some time off. In addition to paid time off, Google also lets employees take up to three months of unpaid sabbatical, in order to travel, go back to school, or work on a passion project.
While you may not be able to provide your employees with daily meals and on-site massages, there are countless more realistic perks you can provide to show your employees just how much you appreciate them. Things like having a catered lunch on certain days, free coffee, and office snack delivery service are relatively affordable and will get your employees excited about coming to work. If the weather permits, you can also try heading outside for the day and having your employees work from their laptops. Getting some much-needed fresh air and a change of scenery is something your team will greatly appreciate. If you sense that your employees could use a pick-me-up, get creative and think of some perks that are both realistic and that your team will love.
Intrinsic Vicissitude is honored to partner with SNACKNATION to bring you this post!
No matter how much good you do for others, or how much progress you make in life regarding things you perceive as your own weaknesses, toxic people know how to swoop in like vultures and wreck it for you – but there are some things you can do to keep your cool and stay on your own path.
The Backstory Behind this Post About Maintaining Motivation and Not Letting Toxic People Get to You
I want to share the story of a recent trip I made to the local Goodwill store as an example of what I mean.
A random encounter with a totally toxic crone is the inspiration for these tips;
(I know, I shouldn’t call her a crone, but she wasn’t Cinderella, and if the shoe fits…)
First, I have been exercising daily for 63 days now. I alternate resistance training with cardio, and I’m doing it for my health, and I have been looking for something to work my glutes and thighs, but I’m a budget shopper so I was at Goodwill.
My entire goal in exercising is to get stronger and be able to enjoy some active things, like hiking and riding a bicycle this summer – if I lose any weight – that will just be a happy bonus.
Whether I lose weight or not is completely irrelevant to me – I just want to be able to enjoy life and do active things without getting out of breath and wondering if my heart is going to give out.
Sure, if I do lose some weight, I’ll be happy about it, but it’s not my goal.
So, anyway, I found an exercise step at Goodwill for $4.50, and I thought, “Hey, that would be a great addition to my exercise gear!” and I stuck it in my cart.
This short, chubby, older woman came up, looked in my cart, and asked what it was.
(What kind of idiot snoops through stranger’s carts at Goodwill anyway? That’s not normal!)
I explained it’s a step to use for exercising at home.
(Exercising… NOT losing weight – there’s a difference! Diffferent goals, different motivation.)
She replied that she had tried many times to lose weight, and her daughter had lost 80 pounds a few years ago, and they both gained it all back – and she went on to say that NO ONE EVER loses weight and keeps it off.
(Bold statement to assign her own failure and her daughter’s failure to every living person on the whole planet given there are 7.5 billion people living here, but… okay…)
Finally, before she left, she looked me up and down to assure herself that I was, in fact, fat, then she wished me luck… and told me not to feel bad when it doesn’t work.
(At no point in the conversation had I said a SINGLE WORD about weight loss – that was this random stranger’s BAGGAGE, not mine.)
I smiled and nodded, all the while imagining myself smacking her with said exercise step – I didn’t though – I prayed for her black, ugly soul to gain some insight, for her to evolve into a decent human being that doesn’t need to crush others for no reason, for her daughter to escape her insanity, and for the toxic woman’s rotund, stubby body to gain at least 80 more pounds.
(I know, not the world’s nicest prayer, but I truly meant the nice parts, and at least I didn’t hit her with an exercise step…)
The encounter got me thinking about how many toxic people we come into contact with, and how deeply they can affect us when the only thing they are really doing is trying to reduce the pain and disappointment they feel in regards to their own pathetic lives.
If my only goal in exercising had been weight loss, though, this encounter might have sent me home crying with a chocolate cake and left me giving up my efforts permanently.
The toxic woman would have likely defeated me if she had managed to correctly guess my goal in exercising, so I guess I was lucky that her baggage about not losing weight was different than my own.
Ways to Keep Toxic People From Wrecking Your Motivation
I’ve already hinted at the first two ways I want to suggest for preserving your own resolve in the face of abuse toxic people.
Pray for them, or send out good vibes if you’re not a praying person. Put your own anger aside long enough to truly wish the other person well. You can do that by praying for them or by simply sending some good vibes their way. It doesn’t matter if that person knows you wish them well, in fact, I think it’s better for YOU if they don’t. It’s for your sake. It helps you let it go of the hurt, offended feelings so you can move on.
Don’t own someone else’s emotional baggage. Realize that no matter how wrong they are, they just reflecting their own pain onto your situation. It has NOTHING to do with you. Sure, it’s still aggravating, but don’t pick up someone else’s baggage, let them carry their own burden.
Trust your own goals and motivation. Focus on your goals, and your reasons. If you don’t have a strong goal or a strong reason, think of one. Life is an ongoing process, and if you let one toxic person wreck your path, then they’ve won. You deserve to forge your own way, for your own reasons.
Vent and let off steam if you have to. Find a way to get it off your chest and just let it go. I’ll admit, that’s what I’m doing with this blog post, and if blogging about it would help you, feel free to snatch the idea.
Use what you’re feeling to help someone else. Nothing refocuses you quicker than reaching out a hand to help someone else. Use your words to share how it felt, teach your kids to eat healthier, or do whatever you feel right about to help someone else live a better, healthier, more positive life.
I wanted to turn what I was feeling after this encounter around and turn it into something positive that would have a chance of helping someone else. So, I tried to put a little humor in it.
Thanks for reading, and while I hope you don’t ever encounter anyone toxic who makes you feel small and worthless like that toxic, nasty woman tried to make me feel, if you do, keep these things in mind and give them a try.
Life can be so challenging and complicated, and it’s easy to put your own needs last when things get overwhelming. It’s okay to treat yourself better, though, because just like a little kindness goes a long way when dealing with difficult people, a little kindness goes a long way in restoring your spirits when thigns have been rough.
Bring on the Self-Care: Doing something positive for yourself, even something small, can help you feel better about life. Just taking the time to paint your nails or soak away sore muscles in a bubble bath can help rejuvenate your spirits sometimes.
Read Something Inspirational: Positive books and websites that share positivity tips offer an easy source of motivation when you need a little boost. (That’s actually why this website exists, so be sure to bookmark it or sign up for email updates to save you even more time.
Make Time to Do Something You Truly Enjoy: When you’re busy, it’s so easy to push aside the things that feel less important, but you shouldn’t. Even if you can only spare ten or fifteen minutes a day on something you enjoy, it gives you a psychological boost that helps carry you through the day.
(I’m actually really bad about following my own advice on this one. I love sewing, and when I’m busy with work, I don’t make time to sew. But I should, because it re-energizes me and makes me happy. So, I’ll be working on taking my own advice.)
Why Self-Compassion Is So Important
It’s easy to be compassionate toward others, easier than it is to treat yourself with compassion and take what you need once in a while, but self-compassion is pretty important in this life, too.
“However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. While there is life, there is hope.” – Stephen Hawking
While not exactly about treating yourself well, that quote from Stephen Hawking speaks to why it’s so important to practice a little self-compassion.
When you’re good to yourself, it’s easier to be good to others. It inspires positive feelings that ripple outward and put positive energy in the world. It boosts your confidence. It builds hope – not just your own sense of hope, but it also builds a sense of hope in those who interact with you.
I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, more than normal, and one thing I often do when I get stressed is look for quotes about inner peace. I found some that really touched me a couple minutes ago, and I decided to share them here for anyone else who’s feeling the stress and not the peace today.
Stress or Peace?
I like this quote so much because it speaks to the fact that we get a choice and the thoughts and actions we choose affect the outcome we get.
“Every day brings a choice to practice stress or to practice peace.” – Joan Borysenko
That was it… simple… concise… the perfect reminder to just chill.
Where’s your Power?
I picked this second quote because I find it so easy to fall into the role of feeling like a victim when things pile up around me.
“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power lies!” – author unknown
It’s a gentle reminder that how you respond to things is where your power lies.
Your Chance to Grow
This last quote is another gentle reminder, or was for me and I hope it will be for you, that even when things seem bleak, it can be your chance to start fresh.
“Sometimes, when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” – Christine Caine
So, make of that what you will, but keep in mind that the bullsh!t that gets heaped on your shoulders (from wherever and from whomever) can be used (by you) as amazing fertilizer to grow your future.
Trolls, Dream Stealers and Frienemies – How to Identify & Deal With Toxic People
By Kimberly Englot
You don’t have to go very far to find negativity. Just watch the news, listen to the radio, even on the internet and in social media, it can feel like where ever people gather, complaining, whining and negativity will follow.
Keep your attitude positive, and you’ll find more things to be positive about. Life will get better, you’ll feel happier. The secret is surrounding yourself with good people, and avoiding the rest. Avoid these 3 people if possible:
Troll. Trolls are funny creatures. They lie waiting for someone to say something and then BOOM they will swoop in and burst the bubble.
A troll is someone who comes in and says something destructive to you or about you, with no purpose other than to cause a reaction. You probably don’t even know this person. This happens a lot online. Through email, Facebook, Twitter and on blog, people are able to say things they wouldn’t dare do face-to-face.
· When a troll comes into your life, delete the message instantly (if possible).
· Do not reply to it.
· Do not try to soothe the person.
· All they are looking for is attention, so by not giving it to them you win and they will disappear. (If they don’t you have a completely different kind of toxic person – a stalker, and you should notify authorities and report the person).
Dream-Stealer. This person likes to be realistic. You have some exciting news, or a great idea, or a big dream and all they want to do is make you see all the possible chances for failure. They say things to make you doubt yourself. They also love to be right and will do what they can to make sure that they’re right and you’re wrong. They also enjoy being able to say, “I told you so.”
· Simplest way to deal with a Dream-Stealer is to protect your good news.
· If you have something to share, got a great idea, or have an opportunity coming up do not tell this person first. Tell others first. This protects yours positive energy.
Frienemy. This someone who is a Friend and an Enemy. I encourage you to look at this kind of friend…is someone who treats you this badly really a friend? How do you know you have one?
· You dread calling them if you have good news.
· You always feel worse after spending time with them.
· You have been friends for a long time, but aren’t sure why you have kept in touch.
· You become someone you don’t like when you’re with them. (whiny, complainy, negative).
· If you have a frienemy….talk to them about it if you want to remain friends (they may not be aware of it)
· If you don’t want to remain friends just stop spending so much time with them. If avoiding them bothers you, tell them outright that you are in different places in life and have nothing in common any more.
Toxic people have a way of draining the life energy from you, leaving you negative, numb and unsure of how to deal with them.
These kinds of toxic people can be really hard to deal with alone. If you are currently dealing with a “Troll,” “Dream-Stealer” or “Frienemy you’ll want to join me for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover, where I’m covering in detail exactly what to look out for AND how to deal with these kinds of negative people in your life.
About the Author: Kimberley Englot teaches success-driven women how to create the life vision they crave, have the courage to pursue it and live it from a purely authentic place so they can enjoy all the happiness, freedom and success they deserve.
Kimberly is the founder of the Center of Authentic Self Development. Learn more about her programs and gain access to FREE coaching, inspiration & advice at: http://www.kimberlyenglot.com
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