Tag Archives: self-talk

Self-Compassion: You Owe it to Yourself

Most people intuitively understand compassion when it comes to others who are suffering, but self-compassion is generally harder to grasp.

The Opposite of Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion: You Owe it to Yourself

When you see someone who is suffering or struggling and your heart reaches out to them, whether you act or not, you feel a tug of discomfort (whether you reach out to help them or not is another part of the complexity of compassion) and you sympathize or feel their pain, that is compassion.

When you yourself are struggling, your first reaction might be to turn to self-deprecating humor or to think how stupid you are. That is the opposite of self-compassion.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is when you recognize that you are human and not perfect, and you quit judging yourself for it. It’s when you give yourself a break.

There are three elements to being self-compassionate, mindfulness, an awareness of your common humanity, and self-kindness.

How Treating Yourself With Compassion Affects Your Life

Putting aside the self-judgement and recognizing that everyone has problems, everyone makes mistakes, and no one – no one – is perfect, lets you begin being kind to yourself.

If you bump your head, for example, and you call yourself a dummy for it, you are literally telling yourself that you are dumb – for something almost everyone does from time to time.

Judging yourself harshly, even when you use humor, it’s still negative, keeps you in an emotionally beaten state, and learning to respond to your humanity with kindness lets you recognize your worth and it lets you open the door to a healthier, happier life.

How to Treat Yourself With Compassion

If you catch yourself in the act of negative self-talk, stop – just stop – mid-sentence. Then, tell yourself the exact opposite of the negative thing you started to say. (Say it out loud if you are in a place you are comfortable doing that.)

Think of something you would absolutely love to have someone do for you – then stop waiting on someone else and tell yourself you are worth it and do it for yourself. This doesn’t have to be expensive – it can be as simple as giving yourself a foot massage after a hard day.

Write some simple affirmations about your self-worth and self-esteem and list some things you do well – and read them to yourself several times a day – out loud when possible.

Surround yourself with positivity as best you can. Read books that inspire you, visit websites like this one to find positive messages, and try to find positive people to include in your life – but don’t sweat it if you can’t find any – because you can learn to be a self-compassionate person with or without anyone else, and you are worth the effort.

How to Create Life-Changing Affirmations

Changing your life is not as simple as making an affirmation, but effectively creating affirmations can help you tap into the unlimited power of your subconscious mind so you can easily make the changes you desire.

Read on for the  details…

What Are Affirmations?

The dictionary definition of an affirmation is pretty simple: it is a form of emotional support or encouragement combined with the action or process of declaring something.

That definition implies the power behind affirmations, but it doesn’t directly address the metaphysical transmutation that happens when you learn to make and use affirmations in your life.

Why Do Affirmations Work?

For an example of why affirmations work, consider the way churches commonly use an affirmation of faith, recited by the congregation at every service.

Belief and  faith generally grow slowly; so the first few times you read and say the affirmation aloud, it is just a string of words, but repetition instills the words deep in your mind as truth and eventually, assuming you keep attending the church, they become the unquestioned core of your faith.

The same principle works for any part of your life.

The use of affirmations is not limited to religious activity – you can choose what you want to reinforce in your life and create the affirmations you need to take your life where you want it to be.

How to Create Life-Changing Affirmations

To change your life, you have to change your beliefs, and then be open to following through with action.

The lucky part is, it’s so easy to create effective affirmations, and once the affirmations take hold in your subconscious mind and replace any negative self-talk that was harbored there, the action becomes easier.

  • Think about what you want, in as much detail as you can imagine.
  • Write down what you want, in present tense, making the statement as simple and short as possible.
    • For example, if you want to lose weight, say 20 pounds, your affirmation could be, “I weigh [# ideal weight] pounds and I live a healthy active lifestyle and I feel so [___].”
    • Or, if your goal is financial, an effective affirmation would be, “I receive [#] dollars per month for my [__] work and I use the money to [___] – and it feels so amazing to be able to live life on my terms.”
  • Read your affirmations several times a day.
    • Ideally, read aloud, at least first thing in the morning and last thing at night – and read silently several times through the  day if it’s not possible to read aloud – like if you’re at work or if someone is around.
  • When you get to the point you can say your affirmations aloud without reading, close your eyes and picture yourself already in possession of the thing (or things) you are affirming.
  • Let your desire for whatever you are affirming become a burning desire or obsession (as long as it’s not another person – that might be bad.)
  • Be open to the ideas that come to you, that will help you succeed in your goal or goals, and be prepared to take action when opportunities land at your feet.

Affirmations alone won’t change your life, but making a lasting and positive change in your life is easier when you learn how to unleash and tap into the power of these amazing, life-changing power statements.

(I linked to the Napoleon Hill book, Think and Grow Rich, because it is the book that first opened my eyes to the concept of using affirmations to make life changes.)