Tag Archives: self confidence

Intrinsic Vicissitude, Positivity, Rewrite Your Life Story

Self-Respect and the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is about having an inner electromagnet that pulls good things and prosperity to you – and self-respect is like the electricity you need to have within you to activate that inner electromagnet.

Self-Respect and the Law of Attraction

What Is the Link Between Self-Respect and the Law of Attraction?

When you lack self-respect and have low self-confidence, your natural tendency, your natural state, is to think disempowering thoughts – your affirmations and statements about what you want to attract in your life tend to be stated in negative terms.

Those negative statements are then the part of your inner dialogue your subconscious mind latches onto and acts upon.

So, while you may be saying, “I don’t want to be poor.” or “I am poor.” or “I don’t want to be alone.” or “I am so lonely.” – the part your subconscious hears and acts on is ‘poor’ or ‘alone’ – and that’s what you get.

The Law of Attraction is kind of like a swinging door because if your mind focuses on the positive, it brings you good things – but if you focus on  the negative, as you will if you have low self-respect, it’s going to bring you the exact things you don’t want.

Learn Self-Respect

Self-respect is about accepting yourself, but if you only focus on and accept negative concepts about yourself, then you will always have a damaged sense of your own self-worth.

Words have power and you can use that power to build a stronger sense of self-respect and in turn, you can start attracting the things you want to attract to your life.

Create Affirmations That Help Build Self-Respect

Look realistically at the person you are and the life you’re leading – there will most likely be a mix of things you like and things you would rather not admit.

Recognizing the positive and negative things about yourself gives you a realistic place to begin building a stronger foundation of self-respect.

Take time to appreciate those positive aspects and then create a few affirmations for the negative that you want to change – and put things in positive, present terms, and add a few words about how it feels to succeed.

For a couple of examples: instead of “I never get the things I need to do finished.” try saying “I work every day to accomplish my goals and I make good progress, and it’s so satisfying.” or, instead of “I am fat and can’t seem to lose weight.” try “I work on improving my health every day, and I feel a bit better each day.”

One little note: If the people in your life are negative – don’t talk to them about your desire and efforts to have a healthy sense of self – don’t share your positive changes with someone who only wants to hold you back – because it’s very easy to slip back into a negative pattern – your self-respect is an internal thing – others might notice your newly found positivity – but it is yours and yours alone.

Intrinsic Vicissitude, Positivity, Relationships, Rewrite Your Life Story

Building Self-Confidence Helps Build Healthy Relationships

Being in a relationship can (and should) boost your self-confidence, but that’s not always how it works for people entering a relationship with low or damaged self-esteem.

Self-Confidence and RelationshipsIf you go into a relationship with low self-confidence, first, you’re more likely to doubt anything positive your partner sees in you, and also, you’re more likely to choose  a partner who is negative – who also has a low self-esteem level – and who reinforces your negative self-perception.

According to Dr. Alice Boyes, poor self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence can cause low-quality relationships – with less love, less trust, more conflict, more ambivalence, and less stability.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”                                – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why Building Self-Confidence Helps Build Healthy Relationships

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”   – e.e. cummings

Build Healthy Self-ConfidenceBuilding your self-confidence helps you build healthier relationships, and it’s kind of like the saying on airplanes for emergencies – about putting on your own oxygen mask first because you can’t help anyone else if you can’t breathe.

Can you be in a relationship if you lack self-confidence and have no sense of self-esteem? Of course! People do it every day – but the quality of your relationships will most likely suffer under the weight of the negativity you experience on  a personal level.

Simple Confidence Boosters

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”   – Thomas Alva Edison

While others can do positive, confidence-boosting things for you, and you for them, no one can build someone else’s self-confidence – by it’s very definition, self-confidence is an internal, personal evaluation of self-worth.

You can do external things for a quick self-confidence boost, like getting you hair done, or working out, or putting on a new outfit, but don’t ignore the value of making internal changes, too, because they provide a longer-lasting confidence boost.

There are many ways to build a foundation of healthy self-esteem; for example: help someone else, make a list of things you are grateful for, make a list of things you are good at, write down small goals you can quickly achieve and check them off as you do them, learn something new, or do something you’ve always wanted to do.

It’s hard to build a healthy relationship on the foundation of an unhealthy self-image, but it’s so easy to take advantage of things you can do to be more confident.

Positivity, Relationships

3 Easy Self-Empowerment Exercises to Help You Take Control of Your Life

If you are feeling down about your life, it can feel as if empowerment is an impossible thing for you, but it’s not.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Become Self-Empowered)
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Becoming self-empowered is a process, and it’s the same for almost everyone, it’s just that some people never really try to take on the process and some manage to slip through it with more ease than others.

Wherever you are at in that, there are some simple things you can do to help yourself move through the process to self-empowerment more quickly and with greater ease.

3 Easy Self-Empowerment Exercises

Go ahead and grab a notebook and pen, or open up a blank document that you can use to record your work on these exercises.

  1. Dream Big: Start by writing down that big goal – or even all of your long-term goals.
    1. It’s perfectly okay and normal if they are “crazy big” or so big you can’t ever imagine them coming true.
      1. If you worry that someone will find your notes and make fun of you, first, you are probably surrounding yourself with the wrong people, and second, encode them so only you can read them.
        1. You can even destroy them when you finish the exercise, though if possible it’s best to keep them and refer back to them every couple weeks or months.
  2. Start Small: Rather than start work on achieving one big, or long-term goal, think about, and record, the steps to make that big goal a reality.
    1. You don’t have to do it all in one day – and if you can do it in one day – it isn’t really a long-term goal anyway.
      1. For example: if your long term goal is a better job so you can live as you wish, financially, but you need to get an education to get the job you want, signing up for college and registering for your first semester of classes would be a good first short term goal.
        1. The advantage of setting these small short-term goals is that each one in itself is easy to achieve – you are setting yourself up for success by setting a series of achievable goals, and each success you experience adds to your sense of accomplishment and self-empowerment.
  3. Record Successes: Make a checklist of the small steps you are taking and plan to take, and check off each one as you complete it.
    1. This gives you a visual confirmation you can look at any time you need a bit of inspiration and a reminder that you have indeed completed steps toward your long-term goal or goals.
      1. Being able to look at a checklist of your accomplishments can speak to your psyche in a unique and effective way.

Personal Growth is a Journey

“We are the creative force of our life, and through our own decisions rather than our conditions, if we carefully learn to do certain things, we can accomplish those goals.”  – Dr. Steven Covey PhD

Don’t expect to change every single thing that’s wrong in your life at once, at best that would be overwhelming – at worst it is setting yourself up for failure.

Always remember that a small success is better than no success and that each small success is but one step on the path to creating and living the life you want.

Intrinsic Vicissitude, Positivity, Rewrite Your Life Story

Kick Low Self Esteem in the Butt

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

The Self-Esteem Companion: Simple Exercises to Help You Challenge Your Inner Critic and Celebrate Your Personal Strengths: Beat Low Self Esteem
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Low self esteem is like an invisible bully you unleash on yourself.

To kick its butt – if you ever want to have peace – you have to recognize it and see the fear behind it.

Then you have to look inside yourself and see the good, and maybe accept that there’s some bad, and then just accept that the fear is unfounded.

Building Self Confidence to Defeat Low Self Esteem

One exercise I love for improving self esteem is writing a pleasure list.

Think about what makes you happy, and what makes you smile – then write these happy things down.

Examples are loved ones, pets, places you enjoy, hobbies or sports you like, your favorite flowers, or a favorite funny TV show.

Keep the list handy, so when you start to feel down or you’re having a day that makes you feel like your self esteem is nonexistent, you can pull out the list and reread it to bring your spirits up.

The Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Build Confidence and Achieve Your Goals (Instant Help Book for Teens)
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If you’re fighting depression, it can be hard to think of things that make you happy, so in that case, add a couple things you do to help others to your list if it feels hard to think of anything that makes you smile.

Self empowerment and self confidence begin with removing, or strengthening, the parts that feel small and weak within yourself, so you can create a strong self image to use as a healthy foundation for building a healthier, happier future.

Intrinsic Vicissitude, Positivity, Rewrite Your Life Story

Develop a Healthy Self Image to Avoid the Pain of Depression and Loneliness

Your self image creates the way you look at and measure not only yourself, but also your role as a friend, spouse, parent, employee, and every other role you have in this life.

A Bad Self Image Puts Healthy Relationships at Risk

If your self image is negative – if you lack self love and self respect – it puts you at risk of ending up unhappy and lonely – no matter how many people are around you or love you.

Your self image is how you see yourself and your role in this life – and it can be incredibly hard to change if you have a negative sense of self because it is our natural reaction to (generally external) events that happen in our lives.

The Self Esteem Workbook: Create a Healthy Self Image
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No one else can develop a more positive sense of self esteem for you, it requires determination and effort on your part, but it is worth the effort.

When you begin to increase self confidence, it feels like a window is opening inside of you, letting in sunshine and positivity.

(It’s not a real window – obviously – it’s just an emotional sense of well-being.)

A poor self image doesn’t blossom into full fledged self confidence overnight – and it is unlikely to happen in a big, life changing “zap.”

Your self image most likely didn’t get damaged from a single tiny incident, so it takes more than a single tiny incident to restore.

Depression Is Only One of the Dangers of Poor Self Esteem

According to the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center, there are several consequences of poor self-esteem:

  • Depression
  • Loneliness
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Problems developing friendships
  • Problem in romantic relationships
  • Impaired academic performance
  • Poor performance at work
  • Heightened vulnerability to chemical dependency

Avoiding the pain of these situations can give you a pretty powerful reason to want to increase your level of self respect, but knowing you need a healthy self image doesn’t tell you how to build confidence so you can get one.

Luckily, there are tools to help you recognize unhealthy patterns and to improve your self confidence.

Tools for Developing a Healthy Self Image

Mastering a Healthy Self Image: The Guidebook to Real Happiness and Enormous Success
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You can use positive self talk, journaling, and visualization to help yourself from within, in addition to asking for help from others, to help increase your willpower and to keep you focused on building a better self image.

  • Positive self talk: Give yourself a break! Instead of saying negative, self-deprecating things about yourself, like, “I’m such a clutz,” or “I’m so stupid.”
    • Focus on the things you do well – and make a point to say something about your positive aspects, at least inside your mind, and never speak the negative.
    • If you catch yourself thinking or saying negative things about yourself, make a conscious decision to stop.
  • Journaling: Use the same approach to daily journaling that was mentioned above, but instead of speaking the positive words about yourself, write them – even if it’s only one positive sentence every day.
    • If you’re really depressed and down on yourself, to where you can’t think of one positive thing to say, you can seek help from a loved one or a professional, or find some positive self image quotes and write them in your journal.
  • Visualization: Visualization is a powerful tool in building a positive self image, or anything you want out of life.
    • You can use the positive things you write in your journal as the basis for visualization, or use a guided meditation, or plan out your own self guided visualization to increase your self confidence.
  • External help: While asking for help can be the hardest thing to do when you’re self image is damaged, it is a powerful tool if you feel able to ask for help – and there is always help available if you reach out for it.
    • Help can come in the form of a loved one who helps you see the good in yourself, or a professional counselor.

There are so many reasons to take action and avoid the risk of depression and loneliness that comes from having a damaged self image, but the real and best reason is that you will feel better if you build a healthy sense of self and increase your self confidence.

 

Intrinsic Vicissitude, Positivity, Rewrite Your Life Story

Five Inspiring Self Esteem Quotes

Rather than chat about my thoughts on building self confidence, for tonight’s post I just want to share these five inspiring quotes and a few words about why I love each of them. I hope you’ll find them to be great confidence booster, and that you’ll enjoy reading them as much as I did.

5 Self Esteem Quotes

“Self-trust is the first secret of success.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self Esteem Quotes
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 If you don’t believe you can do something, you won’t be able to. It’s believing in yourself and trusting your own inner knowledge that guides each of us to – or away from – personal success.

“Someone’s opinion of you does not  have to become your reality.”

– Les Brown

Does anyone really know you better than you know yourself? No one can know every thought, every nuance of character that slides through each of our minds, so no one else’s opinion of us really matters a bit. You know in your heart who you are, block out the voices of others that ring in your ears if they bring you negativity and false judgement.

“The man who does not value himself, cannot  value anyone or anything.”

– Ayn Rand

Don’t waste your life and your heart chasing after or waiting on someone who does not even love him or herself and who is incapable of loving you – if they don’t love themselves, they won’t ever truly love you – they are incapable. That also goes for you – if you want to be capable of loving someone else, recognize what is good ad lovable in yourself, and let it blossom before you draw someone else into a loveless relationship.

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.”

– M. Scott Peck

Self Esteem Quotes
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Learn your worth – walk away from the TV or computer games, or whatever your “escape” thing is – and show yourself what you are capable of – learn what you – what your time is worth – then make a beautiful, positive impact on the world, because you owe it to yourself to do that.

“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the high road to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”

– Margaret Thatcher

It’s true – if you do the right thing even when it’s hard, it touches you to the core of your being, and that goes the opposite way too, though. If you do the wrong thing, it leaves a charred mark on your spirit that takes a long time to heal – if it ever does.

 

Positivity, Relationships

Building Self Confidence When Everything Is Against You

Pretty much everyone has something that makes them feel a little bit, or a lot, quivery and weak in the core of their being – some thing they’re afraid others will judge them harshly for – or make fun of them for – or that they feel is missing in themselves that makes them put themselves through a sense of loss and pain.

What Is Self Confidence?

Self Confidence: How to Develop Self Confidence
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Self confidence is being aware of and believing in yourself, your innate powers, and your abilities, both inborn and learned.

It is also not being afraid to speak up when you know the answer, or to ask a question when there’s something you don’t understand.

It’s knowing that no matter what anyone else thinks, or you might imagine they think, it’s irrelevant in comparison to your own knowledge of your self worth.

Finally, it is feeling okay about yourself – and if you have that, the world feels pretty great.

If you don’t have it, it’s time for you take some steps so you can, because it’s a game changer, in a good way, and THAT, is the whole reason for this site.

Building Self Confidence

Don’t expect self confidence to blossom like a rose overnight – (though I hope it will for you.)

For most people, especially if starting with a damaged self-esteem, it takes a series of successes to wake up a positive self image.

However, just like a house or a multi-million-dollar corporation isn’t built overnight, a great sense of self isn’t built overnight.

How to Build Confidence

Make a list of things that are positive about yourself and your life. If you’re really bummed and struggling, make a fake list. There’s nothing wrong with a fake it till you make it approach, especially when it comes to putting positive thoughts in your subconscious mind.

That’s why I suggest writing it down, in list form. You have to think it in order to write it, then you see your hands writing the words.

Then, put your positivity list where you can read it several times a day, especially when you first get up in the morning and right before bed, but the more times you read it each day, the better it’ll work.

How to Be More Confident

Self Confidence: How To Overcome Shyness, Worry And Boost Your Self-Esteem (Self Confidence, Self Esteem, How To Be Confident, How To Overcome Insecurity, How To Overcome Shyness)
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If you’re really struggling to boost your self esteem and self confidence, go out of your way to help someone else – whether it’s with something big or small, just do what you can, it has the same effect on your psyche regardless of what it is.

The act of helping someone else creates an almost unbelievably positive feeling, so make sure you add it to your list so you can recall the deed and the feeling at any time by simply reviewing your list.

This works because if you are helping someone else, then you aren’t thinking about anything that’s bad in your life.

Two Great Self Confidence Quotes

“Nothing builds self esteem and self confidence like accomplishment.”

-Thomas Carlisle

“The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.”

-William Jennings Bryan

 

Intrinsic Vicissitude, Positivity

Self Improvement Starts with Self Empowerment

Self improvement starts with self empowerment and leads you to a new, more fulfilling life. There has to be that one moment where you stop and go, “Oh wow! I can do this!” or “I am worth it!”

Self Empowerment

Self Empowerment 101
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Give yourself permission to be awesome, then just do it! Your power is already inside of you, waiting as potential, like stored energy, so go ahead and use it.

Consider the tidbits of information below and then tell me what you’re doing to empower yourself to rewrite your life story – or don’t tell me – and just go live your best life because you deserve it!

Visualization

Visualization is a powerful tool that you can use when you’re ready to take control of your life.

I remember hearing and reading statements like that in the past, and until I reached the point where I was ready, deep down, to move on to something better, happier, it sounded like – well – bunk – to me.

Then one day, I was reading a book, and while it wasn’t a book about visualization, it discussed how to effectively visualize, and explained the steps, and I gave it a try – just like that, visualization made sense to me.

Healthy Relationships

Whether you are thinking about love relationships, relationships with your friends, or familial relationships, you can’t have truly healthy relationships without learning to love yourself first.

That, in turn, means self empowerment is the first step, and the key, to learning how to develop healthy relationships.

Self Respect

Self respect comes to visit you when you begin to let your inner strength grow and you take control of your life.

Building a better life – building the life you want to live – is all about action – and if you don’t take it, chances are you’re going to stay stuck right where you are.

Self Confidence

Self Confidence
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Self confidence is like the cherry on top of the dessert. It’s your prize for your hard word.

It’s your reward for taking action and choosing self empowerment and for rewriting your life story so it turns out the way you want it.