Tag Archives: jerk

Picking the Losers or a Jerk Increases the Risk of Depression

The title of this might seem super, super obvious – but then – if it’s so obvious, why do so may people do exactly that?

Depression

Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks:Emotional Manipulation
Click here to buy this book!

If you feel extremely despondent, dejected, hopeless, or inadequate, like an unseen force is pressing down and squishing the life out of you, there’s a good chance you are experiencing depression – and you probably don’t need me to tell you that.

But, did you know depression can be linked to the types of relationships you choose?

You might feel like a victim in a bad relationship, but really, it is more likely that you have unknowingly made yourself the target of an emotional manipulator.

Why Do I always Attract the Losers?

If you think of yourself as a victim, with things just “happening” to you, then you slip into the role of feeling like you are under attack by a bully, and it is a relationship pattern people tend to repeat over and over.

What a Jerk!

As you learn to recognize your own unmet emotional needs, your emotional stress levels and stressors, you will also become able to recognize emotional manipulation and emotional blackmail on the part of your manipulator.

Conquer Emotional Depression

Recognize that it is not the manipulator who is the problem, it is your fear.

For most targets, as the target of emotional manipulation, or as a target of a loser/jerk, you feel reject-able in some way, and deep down, and that fear of rejection means you will always be at risk of being manipulated by the next loser/jerk to come along until you learn to recognize that fear.

(The book above or the video below both explain it better if you have time to read the book or watch the video.)

But, that does not mean “this unhappy situation is your fault – because it is completely natural to do anything in your power to avoid rejection – even letting someone be a jerk and treat you badly.

How to Get Out of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

First, if the emotional abuse you are experiencing is more severe and you do not feel safe, find a shelter, such as the local women’s shelter to get help and protection.

Find your positive – so you can move ahead and escape the dangers of depression caused by unhappy relationships and emotional manipulation.

Learn to see what holds you back and makes you let the losers treat you poorly.

Remember: even if – when – you have a setback, keep believing in yourself and keep focusing on the positive.

Emotional Manipulation Video

Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks

This is a review of a book that was personally helpful to me. It’s called, Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks by Jim Hedges.

Click here to buy this book!

I’m sharing it here because understanding your pain can be the key to building a better life.

I got this book when I was looking for answers – after spending over 20 years stuck with a guy I had nothing in common with, who enjoyed lying and taking things, and who, seriously, I couldn’t stand.

At the same time, I felt stuck – trapped – like there was no hope whether I was with him or not – and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t break away.

I would ask myself every day – usually several times a day, why I stayed with the jerk – sometimes I used words a lot nastier than jerk.

I had truly loved the man at first – but just like a weed – love can be killed if you stomp on it enough times.

Reading this book gave a name to my pain, it let me see that I was codependent – how I got that way – and even gave me a direction to turn for the next phase of my life.

My life didn’t change overnight – took me a lifetime to get so broken – will take some time to fix – but it helped me start healing.

It showed me that I wasn’t powerless and I could choose to have the life I want. It let me see that a troubled childhood had left my self-esteem damaged, but that it didn’t have to define my life story.

I liked the tone that was used to write the book – like a chat with a good friend, and the real life examples of women who, like me, had picked losers and jerks – for the same reasons.

I wasn’t alone! My reactions, clinging to a doomed relationship- normal!

This book is perfect for identifying what happened and what you need to do to get your life back on track after a relationship with a loser or a jerk.