Tag Archives: empower yourself

Empower Yourself: How to Stop Thinking Like a Victim

Have you ever doubted yourself, or felt like happiness and being treated well are things for other people to enjoy?

Victimization: Victory Over the Victim Mentality (Hope for the Heart) Have you ever thought things would finally be okay in your life if some external thing were different, or if someone else would only… ?

Many people don’t process this type of thinking as feeling or thinking like a victim, but that is exactly what it is, and it’s a cycle you can break by recognizing it and tackling it head on.

Victimization or Self-Victimization?

Victimization often begins in childhood, through abuse or bullying, where the child’s self-esteem becomes compromised.

This leads to an adulthood where the childhood victim begins to victimize himself or herself with constant affirmations of not being good enough or of deserving bad treatment.

The cycle of self-victimization then repeats over and over until it is recognized and new, positive affirmations of self-worth are instilled in the mind of the (past) victim.

How to Stop Thinking Like a Victim

“A strong, successful man * is not the victim of his environment. He creates favorable conditions. His own inherent force and energy compel things to turn out as he desires.”  – Orison Swett Marden

No one could, or should, ever deny the validity of a pattern of self-victimization that began when someone treated you horribly, but it’s up to you, as an adult, to break the pattern and stop the cycle of victimization by choosing to stop the negative self-talk that is holding you down.

Empower Yourself

  • Become aware of negative self-talk: This type of self-talk includes anything that is a put-down to yourself, including seemingly innocent self-deprecating humor.
    • You can’t stop doing it if you aren’t even aware you are putting yourself in a negative pattern.
  • Examine the truth behind negative self-talk: Things like, “I can’t do anything right” or “I always screw everything up” are rarely factual, because no one does everything wrong.
    • Though those statements develop as affirmations over time and they do eventually emerge as personal truths – but they can be changed.
  • Don’t let anyone else plant negative statements in your mind: It’s really common for people lacking in confidence to surround themselves with narcissistic people who maintain the imbalance in a relationship with a victim.
    • If you can’t physically leave the person, then, at least refute the negative things they say inside your mind, and replace their words with your own, positive truths.
  • Write down some simple positive affirmations about things you do:  Whether it’s making a great dish of pasta or being kind to animals, write down some good things about yourself and look at it several times a day, and read your positive self-talk affirmations aloud at least once a day.
    • If you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, then stop right there and review your positive affirmations.

If you are really struggling with self-esteem issues or are in a dire situation, and you need more than a bit of motivation from an article, it’s okay – and wise – to seek professional help to begin a new, healthy lifestyle. The information presented here is to help you find the motivation to start feeling empowered, but it is not intended to be a substitute for professional help if it’s needed.

Note: I would like to add ‘or woman’ to the above quote – where I added the * – for the purpose of this article – since Orison Swett Marden was a turn-of-the-century writer – when most everything was presented in masculine terms.

The Difference Between Empowerment and Self-Empowerment

In the past, I spent a lot of my life feeling disempowered and trapped,  and because of that, I have spent a lot of time thinking about, studying, and reflecting on exactly what empowerment is, and about how being empowered impacts personal growth.

What Is Empowerment?

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Empowerment is the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights, and typically, empowerment is considered to be authority or power given to someone.

Think of the way a boss is given authority over employees – he or she is empowered by upper management to tell workers what to do.

This kind of power can make a difference in your life, for sure, but it is very different in the way it impacts your life when compared to self-empowerment.

What Is Self-Empowerment?

Self-empowerment is when you make the choices, set the goals, create a plan to reach those goals, and you do the hard work of making life-altering changes.

This type of empowerment results in long-term changes that can, in fact, change your life for the better.

I won’t say no one else can change your life, or offer you empowerment because that’s not true – if it were, no one would ever get paid to be the boss – anywhere.

Often, however,  you might need a little help to get jump-started in the right direction.

However, change that comes to your life from external influences is not the only type of change you need if you are seeking a life-altering and positive change.

How Can You Benefit From the Difference Between Empowerment and Self-Empowerment

You have to do it yourself!

It isn’t always easy to hear that you have to put in some hard work to get where you want to be in life, but to benefit from the biggest difference between empowerment and self-empowerment, you have to do the work.

The things that are handed to you might help improve your life or even enable you to become self-empowered, but to make a lasting change, you have to take the responsibility  and own it, and you have to do the work to make the change.

It’s not always easy, but if you’re sure of what you want, it is always worth it to take the lead and empower yourself to make the change (or changes.)

What Are Some Things You Can Do to Empower Yourself?

Being self-empowered means having the strength and courage to act based on your own self-knowledge.

What Are Some Things You Can Do to Empower Yourself?

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For anyone lacking confidence, the notion of becoming self-empowered can feel like it’s miles away… impossible even… but it doesn’t have to be.

The change might or might not come fast, but you have to decide that, and your choices and decisions decide the outcome.

If you don’t choose self-empowerment, you empower others to control you, and that means you choose to be disempowered.

Powerful Self-Empowerment Tips

  • Help someone else: It’s very, very hard to feel weak or bad for yourself when you’re reaching out to help someone else.
  • Unleash your creativity: Use your natural talents and explore your personal interests.
    • These are the things that define you and give you the power to control your destiny.
    • Savor them and use them.
  • Pamper yourself: Do something positive for yourself every day.
    • Some days this might  be meditating or exercising.
    • Other days it might be giving yourself a foot massage, soaking in a warm bath.
  • Accept your humanity: No one is perfect. Expecting yourself to be perfect when it’s humanly impossible is setting yourself up for failure and self-loathing.
    • Forget perfection.
    • Be the best person you can be and forgive yourself when you screw up.
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  • To-Do List your dreams: Inaction feels lousy and it takes away your power. Do you have a goal or dream you keep putting off for someday?
    • Well, let today be that someday. Write it down, break it into a few small steps to get started, and check each one off as you complete it.
    • Look at your checked-off to do list often, each of those checks is a reminder that you are not powerless, and you have proof because you have done things to achieve your dreams.
  • Educate yourself: Learn all you can. Open your mind and ask why things are the way they are and why people react to life the way they do.
    • Can’t afford college? Not an excuse – hit the Library and pick up books on what you need.
    • Don’t have time to go to the Library? Take advantage of the Internet. (Just be sure to use reliable sources for important information.)

Choose who you are, and be that person. That is being self-empowered, and you CAN do it – anyone with the ability to reason can.