Tag Archives: domestic abuse

What Is the Real Risk of Tolerating Emotional Manipulation?

Being the victim of emotional manipulation makes you doubt yourself, it makes you lower your expectations, it makes you do and say things you never thought you would do or say while letting someone hurt mentally and spiritually – you in deeper ways than you ever imagined you might tolerate.

This last one, however, is the big one – tolerating this kind of emotional bullying can also make you sick.

Emotional Manipulation

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Emotional manipulation is a form of intimate partner abuse and psychological manipulation, where a dominant partner changes the weaker partner’s behavior by attacking them on a personal, mental level in order to control that weaker partner.


If you find yourself not doing the things you care about in order to keep the peace at home, you may be a victim of this type of manipulation – you might not even be aware of the  changes in yourself until they become severe.

Forms of Intimate Domestic Abuse

Intimate domestic abuse can be mental or physical in nature. Emotional abuse in relationships can feel like the worst type of abuse when you’re getting the brunt of it.

While obviously no one would want to be physically abused, victims of this type on mental abuse often say things like, “I would rather be punched than feel this kind of pain.”

That type of statement is more of an effort to get the bully, or anyone, to listen and to understand just how deeply the pain goes from the emotional abuse and manipulation.

Types of Bullying in a Relationship

As mentioned above, there are two main types of bullying in a domestic relationship – emotional manipulation and physical violence. Tolerating either type of abuse puts you in danger, and should be taken seriously.

If interested, you can read Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated in Your Relationships? to learn more about emotional manipulators.

Accepting Emotional Abuse Blocks Your Ability to Build a Happy Life

If you’re here on Intrinsic Vicissitude to learn about building a better, happier life, but you are also in an emotionally abusive relationship, you already know first-hand that the title of this post is true – but did you also know you have choices and do not have to remain a victim of this type of emotional manipulation?

Accepting emotional abuse takes away your joy and stops you from growing as a person. It gives the person bullying you all the power and wraps the victim in a shroud of stress and fear.

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a type of relationship bullying that typically uses verbal abuse and manipulative, spirit-crushing tactics to control the victim. It does not leave the same physical signs as domestic violence, but it is a serious form of domestic abuse.

Living with emotional bullying leaves the victim angry, and afraid. Happiness cannot exist, much less grow in a soil made up of anger and fear.

How to Stop Being Bullied by a Loved One

First of all, if someone is bullying you – that is not a person who loves you. It is a person who wants to control you, and that has nothing to do with love or affection.

  • If you or a loved one are dealing with this type of victimization, recognize your own role in it – in that by accepting it you allow it to continue.
  • Educate yourself on codependent relationships.
  • Seek counseling.
  • Keep a journal if you can keep your bully from reading it and using it as a tool to bully you more.
  • Do whatever you have to do to get stronger so you can have the life you want and deserve.

You can learn more about identifying emotional abuse on the Dr. Phil website, or reading a book on codependency, such as Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks or Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself.