Being in a relationship can (and should) boost your self-confidence, but that’s not always how it works for people entering a relationship with low or damaged self-esteem.
If you go into a relationship with low self-confidence, first, you’re more likely to doubt anything positive your partner sees in you, and also, you’re more likely to choose a partner who is negative – who also has a low self-esteem level – and who reinforces your negative self-perception.
According to Dr. Alice Boyes, poor self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence can cause low-quality relationships – with less love, less trust, more conflict, more ambivalence, and less stability.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why Building Self-Confidence Helps Build Healthy Relationships
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” – e.e. cummings
Building your self-confidence helps you build healthier relationships, and it’s kind of like the saying on airplanes for emergencies – about putting on your own oxygen mask first because you can’t help anyone else if you can’t breathe.
Can you be in a relationship if you lack self-confidence and have no sense of self-esteem? Of course! People do it every day – but the quality of your relationships will most likely suffer under the weight of the negativity you experience on a personal level.
Simple Confidence Boosters
“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” – Thomas Alva Edison
While others can do positive, confidence-boosting things for you, and you for them, no one can build someone else’s self-confidence – by it’s very definition, self-confidence is an internal, personal evaluation of self-worth.
You can do external things for a quick self-confidence boost, like getting you hair done, or working out, or putting on a new outfit, but don’t ignore the value of making internal changes, too, because they provide a longer-lasting confidence boost.
There are many ways to build a foundation of healthy self-esteem; for example: help someone else, make a list of things you are grateful for, make a list of things you are good at, write down small goals you can quickly achieve and check them off as you do them, learn something new, or do something you’ve always wanted to do.
It’s hard to build a healthy relationship on the foundation of an unhealthy self-image, but it’s so easy to take advantage of things you can do to be more confident.