Tag Archives: compassion

Self-Compassion: You Owe it to Yourself

Most people intuitively understand compassion when it comes to others who are suffering, but self-compassion is generally harder to grasp.

The Opposite of Self-Compassion
The Opposite of Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion: You Owe it to Yourself

When you see someone who is suffering or struggling and your heart reaches out to them, whether you act or not, you feel a tug of discomfort (whether you reach out to help them or not is another part of the complexity of compassion) and you sympathize or feel their pain, that is compassion.

When you yourself are struggling, your first reaction might be to turn to self-deprecating humor or to think how stupid you are. That is the opposite of self-compassion.

What Is Self-Compassion?

Self-compassion is when you recognize that you are human and not perfect, and you quit judging yourself for it. It’s when you give yourself a break.

There are three elements to being self-compassionate, mindfulness, an awareness of your common humanity, and self-kindness.

How Treating Yourself With Compassion Affects Your Life

Putting aside the self-judgement and recognizing that everyone has problems, everyone makes mistakes, and no one – no one – is perfect, lets you begin being kind to yourself.

If you bump your head, for example, and you call yourself a dummy for it, you are literally telling yourself that you are dumb – for something almost everyone does from time to time.

Judging yourself harshly, even when you use humor, it’s still negative, keeps you in an emotionally beaten state, and learning to respond to your humanity with kindness lets you recognize your worth and it lets you open the door to a healthier, happier life.

How to Treat Yourself With Compassion

If you catch yourself in the act of negative self-talk, stop – just stop – mid-sentence. Then, tell yourself the exact opposite of the negative thing you started to say. (Say it out loud if you are in a place you are comfortable doing that.)

Think of something you would absolutely love to have someone do for you – then stop waiting on someone else and tell yourself you are worth it and do it for yourself. This doesn’t have to be expensive – it can be as simple as giving yourself a foot massage after a hard day.

Write some simple affirmations about your self-worth and self-esteem and list some things you do well – and read them to yourself several times a day – out loud when possible.

Surround yourself with positivity as best you can. Read books that inspire you, visit websites like this one to find positive messages, and try to find positive people to include in your life – but don’t sweat it if you can’t find any – because you can learn to be a self-compassionate person with or without anyone else, and you are worth the effort.

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The Power You Gain From Showing Compassion to Others

It’s easy to think of kindness and compassion as something you give away – that takes from you – but the opposite is true because showing compassion can help you increase your personal power and confidence levels.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

The Link Between Kindness and Empowerment

50 Mindful Steps to Self-Esteem
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When you show compassion to someone else, it begins to bolster your self-esteem and helps you grow your personal power.

Helping someone else broadens your perspective and lets you see that, no matter what your circumstances are, you still have the power to make someone else’s day, or even their life, brighter.

In addition to extending compassion outwards, though, you can also practice self-compassion — by giving yourself a break and by seeing your good qualities instead of focusing on things you perceive as bad.

But… How Can I Help Anyone?

If you are wondering how you could possibly help anyone, for example if you are in a bad situation yourself, the help and compassion you offer don’t have to be big and drastically life-changing for the other person in order to make a positive impact on your (and their) life.

In most situations, we all have to work out our own big and life-changing struggles on our own anyway – if we want to make lasting changes in our lives – that is.

The kindness and compassion you offer can be as simple as a smile that lets another human being know they have been seen and valued, holding a door for someone carrying a heavy load, or buying someone who looks cold a small cup of coffee.

What Does Compassion Mean?

Compassion is described as a sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings and misfortunes of others.

I would add to that definition of compassion that compassion is the inner force that awakens a feeling of empathy in us and that it is the catalyst that can spur us to engage in acts of kindness.

When you are feeling down, when you have a low self-esteem, when you feel like failure is washing over you — you are focusing on yourself and the things you feel are wrong or sad or pitiful about your life – and that kind of thinking is a trap that benefits no one.

Let the compassion you feel as you look at the people around increase your self-esteem and you lead you to a better place by acting on impulses to help others.

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5 Beautiful Compassion Quotes

Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life: Compassion i
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Empathy and compassion help to make the world a better place when put into practice, so I wanted to share these five beautiful quotes about compassion – for inspiration and share a bit of peace and comfort with you.

Thanks for visiting Intrinsic Vicissitude… read on for the quotes!

Compassion Quotes

Compassion Quote # 1

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.”  -Dalai Lama

Compassion Quote # 2

“Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.” – Confucious

Compassion Quote # 3

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” – Lao Tzu

Compassion Quote # 4

“Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.” – Dalai Lama

Compassion Quote # 5

“It’s hard to practice compassion when we’re struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthiness is off-balance.” – Brene Brown

Do you have a favorite quote about compassion that isn’t listed here? If you do, it would be so great if you would take a moment and share it with everyone.

Thank you for visiting Intrinsic Vicissitude. I hope you enjoyed these short compassion quotes, and I hope you’ll bookmark the site and stop back soon to see the new posts here.

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How Can Empathy Make the World a Better Place

Have you ever talked to someone who lacks empathy and who just cannot seem to understand what you’re saying because they are so set on telling you something?

If you answered yes – How did it make you feel? Frustrated? Angry? Like you really didn’t want to talk to that person ever again?

Empathy plays an important role in effective communication – and practicing this type of responsive compassion can help make the world  a better place – one person at a time.

Empathy Definition

What is empathy? Empathy is, basically, the ability to understand and to share the feelings of another person, or another living creature.

Responsive Communication

Verbal and Nonverbal cues
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There are many different communication styles, some effective and some not so effective, but for increasing empathy, it’s good to put responsive communication into practice.

Responsive communication starts with hearing and processing verbal cues, includes taking the time to process and respond to those verbal cues as well as watching for and processing nonverbal cues.

Verbal and Nonverbal Communication

Some people will say exactly what they think – and if you’re dealing with one of those delightfully above-board people, communicating with empathy should be relatively easy – you just have to hear them and think how you would feel in their situation.

  • Many people, however, most people actually, have emotional filters in place that make effective communication and true empathy a bit more tricky.
  • When dealing with people who are guarded, you have to hear the words they are speaking  and their tone of voice while also watching hand gestures, posture, eye contact, and head movements such as nodding or shaking the head no.
  • The nonverbal forms of communication are often more important in understanding and being empathetic to the other person’s feelings than the words they are saying.
    • For example, if someone is saying “Yes” but their head is shaking in a silent “No” then their subconscious is speaking to you, and it’s wise to pay attention if you want to understand and communicate with them effectively.

Compassion and Kindness

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and beauty.”  -Albert Einstein

Empathy can make the world a better place by allowing us to understand and even experience the feelings of others on a personal level so we can interact with other people and other living creatures with compassion and the sense of sharing this journey through existence.

 

 

 

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