This is a review of a book that was personally helpful to me. It’s called, Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks by Jim Hedges.
I’m sharing it here because understanding your pain can be the key to building a better life.
I got this book when I was looking for answers – after spending over 20 years stuck with a guy I had nothing in common with, who enjoyed lying and taking things, and who, seriously, I couldn’t stand.
At the same time, I felt stuck – trapped – like there was no hope whether I was with him or not – and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t break away.
I would ask myself every day – usually several times a day, why I stayed with the jerk – sometimes I used words a lot nastier than jerk.
I had truly loved the man at first – but just like a weed – love can be killed if you stomp on it enough times.
Reading this book gave a name to my pain, it let me see that I was codependent – how I got that way – and even gave me a direction to turn for the next phase of my life.
My life didn’t change overnight – took me a lifetime to get so broken – will take some time to fix – but it helped me start healing.
It showed me that I wasn’t powerless and I could choose to have the life I want. It let me see that a troubled childhood had left my self-esteem damaged, but that it didn’t have to define my life story.
I liked the tone that was used to write the book – like a chat with a good friend, and the real life examples of women who, like me, had picked losers and jerks – for the same reasons.
I wasn’t alone! My reactions, clinging to a doomed relationship- normal!
This book is perfect for identifying what happened and what you need to do to get your life back on track after a relationship with a loser or a jerk.