Feeling Lost? Browse through these quotes (from wiser people than I am) on ways to change your life to get some potentially revitalizing ideas.
Ways to Change Your Life if You’re Feeling Lost
Shift your focus to something other than your problems.
“Love people who hate you. Pray for people who have wronged you. It won’t just change their life… it’ll change your life.” – Mandy Hale
Change what you can in a positive manner, even if it’s just something small.
“Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive alterations of your end result.” – Kevin Michel
Let it start with the way you think, all change begins inside of our minds.
“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein
Know there are things in life that you can’t change, accept those things and focus your energies on the things you can influence.
“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
Realize we aren’t meant to understand everything, and that’s okay!
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large – I contain multitudes.” – Walt Whitman
Allow yourself to be open to new ideas, you can’t achieve change in life by holding onto the things that have already failed to provide positive results.
“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” – Frederich Nietzsche
Learn all you can, read, take classes, search the internet for information, talk to people, take notes, because learning is the foundation upon which you can build a brighter, stronger future.
“Change is the end result of all true learning.” – Leo F Buscaglia
Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed putting this post together, especially since I was feeling a little lost today myself, and I hope you enjoyed these short quotes about ways to change your life when you’re feeling lost.
No matter how much good you do for others, or how much progress you make in life regarding things you perceive as your own weaknesses, toxic people know how to swoop in like vultures and wreck it for you – but there are some things you can do to keep your cool and stay on your own path.
The Backstory Behind this Post About Maintaining Motivation and Not Letting Toxic People Get to You
I want to share the story of a recent trip I made to the local Goodwill store as an example of what I mean.
A random encounter with a totally toxic crone is the inspiration for these tips;
(I know, I shouldn’t call her a crone, but she wasn’t Cinderella, and if the shoe fits…)
First, I have been exercising daily for 63 days now. I alternate resistance training with cardio, and I’m doing it for my health, and I have been looking for something to work my glutes and thighs, but I’m a budget shopper so I was at Goodwill.
My entire goal in exercising is to get stronger and be able to enjoy some active things, like hiking and riding a bicycle this summer – if I lose any weight – that will just be a happy bonus.
Whether I lose weight or not is completely irrelevant to me – I just want to be able to enjoy life and do active things without getting out of breath and wondering if my heart is going to give out.
Sure, if I do lose some weight, I’ll be happy about it, but it’s not my goal.
So, anyway, I found an exercise step at Goodwill for $4.50, and I thought, “Hey, that would be a great addition to my exercise gear!” and I stuck it in my cart.
This short, chubby, older woman came up, looked in my cart, and asked what it was.
(What kind of idiot snoops through stranger’s carts at Goodwill anyway? That’s not normal!)
I explained it’s a step to use for exercising at home.
(Exercising… NOT losing weight – there’s a difference! Diffferent goals, different motivation.)
She replied that she had tried many times to lose weight, and her daughter had lost 80 pounds a few years ago, and they both gained it all back – and she went on to say that NO ONE EVER loses weight and keeps it off.
(Bold statement to assign her own failure and her daughter’s failure to every living person on the whole planet given there are 7.5 billion people living here, but… okay…)
Finally, before she left, she looked me up and down to assure herself that I was, in fact, fat, then she wished me luck… and told me not to feel bad when it doesn’t work.
(At no point in the conversation had I said a SINGLE WORD about weight loss – that was this random stranger’s BAGGAGE, not mine.)
I smiled and nodded, all the while imagining myself smacking her with said exercise step – I didn’t though – I prayed for her black, ugly soul to gain some insight, for her to evolve into a decent human being that doesn’t need to crush others for no reason, for her daughter to escape her insanity, and for the toxic woman’s rotund, stubby body to gain at least 80 more pounds.
(I know, not the world’s nicest prayer, but I truly meant the nice parts, and at least I didn’t hit her with an exercise step…)
The encounter got me thinking about how many toxic people we come into contact with, and how deeply they can affect us when the only thing they are really doing is trying to reduce the pain and disappointment they feel in regards to their own pathetic lives.
If my only goal in exercising had been weight loss, though, this encounter might have sent me home crying with a chocolate cake and left me giving up my efforts permanently.
The toxic woman would have likely defeated me if she had managed to correctly guess my goal in exercising, so I guess I was lucky that her baggage about not losing weight was different than my own.
Ways to Keep Toxic People From Wrecking Your Motivation
I’ve already hinted at the first two ways I want to suggest for preserving your own resolve in the face of abuse toxic people.
Pray for them, or send out good vibes if you’re not a praying person. Put your own anger aside long enough to truly wish the other person well. You can do that by praying for them or by simply sending some good vibes their way. It doesn’t matter if that person knows you wish them well, in fact, I think it’s better for YOU if they don’t. It’s for your sake. It helps you let it go of the hurt, offended feelings so you can move on.
Don’t own someone else’s emotional baggage. Realize that no matter how wrong they are, they just reflecting their own pain onto your situation. It has NOTHING to do with you. Sure, it’s still aggravating, but don’t pick up someone else’s baggage, let them carry their own burden.
Trust your own goals and motivation. Focus on your goals, and your reasons. If you don’t have a strong goal or a strong reason, think of one. Life is an ongoing process, and if you let one toxic person wreck your path, then they’ve won. You deserve to forge your own way, for your own reasons.
Vent and let off steam if you have to. Find a way to get it off your chest and just let it go. I’ll admit, that’s what I’m doing with this blog post, and if blogging about it would help you, feel free to snatch the idea.
Use what you’re feeling to help someone else. Nothing refocuses you quicker than reaching out a hand to help someone else. Use your words to share how it felt, teach your kids to eat healthier, or do whatever you feel right about to help someone else live a better, healthier, more positive life.
I wanted to turn what I was feeling after this encounter around and turn it into something positive that would have a chance of helping someone else. So, I tried to put a little humor in it.
Thanks for reading, and while I hope you don’t ever encounter anyone toxic who makes you feel small and worthless like that toxic, nasty woman tried to make me feel, if you do, keep these things in mind and give them a try.
Life can be so challenging and complicated, and it’s easy to put your own needs last when things get overwhelming. It’s okay to treat yourself better, though, because just like a little kindness goes a long way when dealing with difficult people, a little kindness goes a long way in restoring your spirits when thigns have been rough.
Bring on the Self-Care: Doing something positive for yourself, even something small, can help you feel better about life. Just taking the time to paint your nails or soak away sore muscles in a bubble bath can help rejuvenate your spirits sometimes.
Read Something Inspirational: Positive books and websites that share positivity tips offer an easy source of motivation when you need a little boost. (That’s actually why this website exists, so be sure to bookmark it or sign up for email updates to save you even more time.
Make Time to Do Something You Truly Enjoy: When you’re busy, it’s so easy to push aside the things that feel less important, but you shouldn’t. Even if you can only spare ten or fifteen minutes a day on something you enjoy, it gives you a psychological boost that helps carry you through the day.
(I’m actually really bad about following my own advice on this one. I love sewing, and when I’m busy with work, I don’t make time to sew. But I should, because it re-energizes me and makes me happy. So, I’ll be working on taking my own advice.)
Why Self-Compassion Is So Important
It’s easy to be compassionate toward others, easier than it is to treat yourself with compassion and take what you need once in a while, but self-compassion is pretty important in this life, too.
“However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. While there is life, there is hope.” – Stephen Hawking
While not exactly about treating yourself well, that quote from Stephen Hawking speaks to why it’s so important to practice a little self-compassion.
When you’re good to yourself, it’s easier to be good to others. It inspires positive feelings that ripple outward and put positive energy in the world. It boosts your confidence. It builds hope – not just your own sense of hope, but it also builds a sense of hope in those who interact with you.
Trolls, Dream Stealers and Frienemies – How to Identify & Deal With Toxic People
By Kimberly Englot
You don’t have to go very far to find negativity. Just watch the news, listen to the radio, even on the internet and in social media, it can feel like where ever people gather, complaining, whining and negativity will follow.
Keep your attitude positive, and you’ll find more things to be positive about. Life will get better, you’ll feel happier. The secret is surrounding yourself with good people, and avoiding the rest. Avoid these 3 people if possible:
Troll. Trolls are funny creatures. They lie waiting for someone to say something and then BOOM they will swoop in and burst the bubble.
A troll is someone who comes in and says something destructive to you or about you, with no purpose other than to cause a reaction. You probably don’t even know this person. This happens a lot online. Through email, Facebook, Twitter and on blog, people are able to say things they wouldn’t dare do face-to-face.
· When a troll comes into your life, delete the message instantly (if possible).
· Do not reply to it.
· Do not try to soothe the person.
· All they are looking for is attention, so by not giving it to them you win and they will disappear. (If they don’t you have a completely different kind of toxic person – a stalker, and you should notify authorities and report the person).
Dream-Stealer. This person likes to be realistic. You have some exciting news, or a great idea, or a big dream and all they want to do is make you see all the possible chances for failure. They say things to make you doubt yourself. They also love to be right and will do what they can to make sure that they’re right and you’re wrong. They also enjoy being able to say, “I told you so.”
· Simplest way to deal with a Dream-Stealer is to protect your good news.
· If you have something to share, got a great idea, or have an opportunity coming up do not tell this person first. Tell others first. This protects yours positive energy.
Frienemy. This someone who is a Friend and an Enemy. I encourage you to look at this kind of friend…is someone who treats you this badly really a friend? How do you know you have one?
· You dread calling them if you have good news.
· You always feel worse after spending time with them.
· You have been friends for a long time, but aren’t sure why you have kept in touch.
· You become someone you don’t like when you’re with them. (whiny, complainy, negative).
· If you have a frienemy….talk to them about it if you want to remain friends (they may not be aware of it)
· If you don’t want to remain friends just stop spending so much time with them. If avoiding them bothers you, tell them outright that you are in different places in life and have nothing in common any more.
Toxic people have a way of draining the life energy from you, leaving you negative, numb and unsure of how to deal with them.
These kinds of toxic people can be really hard to deal with alone. If you are currently dealing with a “Troll,” “Dream-Stealer” or “Frienemy you’ll want to join me for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover, where I’m covering in detail exactly what to look out for AND how to deal with these kinds of negative people in your life.
About the Author: Kimberley Englot teaches success-driven women how to create the life vision they crave, have the courage to pursue it and live it from a purely authentic place so they can enjoy all the happiness, freedom and success they deserve.
Kimberly is the founder of the Center of Authentic Self Development. Learn more about her programs and gain access to FREE coaching, inspiration & advice at: http://www.kimberlyenglot.com
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Everyone has stressful days, and I wanted to share these four calming quotes for anyone who is feeling a bit on edge. I hope you enjoy them and find some inspiration in them.
Having a Stressful Day? Check Out These 4 Calming Quotes
“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” – Charles Spurgeon
I tend to be a “worrier” so I found this first quote from Charles Spurgeon to be a calming reminder that worrying isn’t going to fix anything, and all it does is cause more stress.
“Getting stress out of your life takes more than prayer alone. You must take action to make changes and stop doing whatever is causing the stress. You can learn to calm down in the way you handle things.” – Joyce Meyer
If all you do is worry (I’ve done this many times) and not take action, the worry isn’t going to go away and will most likely even get more intense. Sometimes, we have to just make the best decision we can based on the information we have, and take action.
“Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty.” – Thomas Jefferson
Another one about taking action – from one of the founding fathers of the United States. This one is a little more intense, because it speaks to the way people will accept a bad situation that’s controlling their lives instead of fighting – or taking action – to get free of the unwanted situation.
“I don’t think you should always stay calm in a tense situation, because you might not ever confront the problem. Maybe it’s better to actually let yourself be tense – and find a solution.” -Yoko Ono
I surprised myself when I picked this Yoko Ono quote, because I guess I don’t “identify” with her at all. But, I felt her quote was the perfect one to close this post with because it blends the earlier quotes into one simple theme.
Here’s the theme” Stop worrying and take (smart) action instead.
Ralph Waldo Emerson was one of the founders of the mid-19th century transcendental movement, known for his profound and inspiring way of thinking, his eloquent speeches and his stirring writing style. These three profound Emerson quotes are always true, even though the language in them is a bit dated.
Emerson on the Law of Nature
“The law of nature is, do the thing, and you shall have the Power; but they who do not do the thing have not the Power.”
While Emerson used the word Power in this quote, note that he capitalized it because it meant more than the type of power we typically think of when hearing the word. The Power is the Result of your efforts.
This quote invites you to take the action in life that is going to give you the results you want. And, it also kind of warns you that if you choose not to act, you most likely won’t get what you want.
Emerson on Love
“Love and you shall be loved. All love is mathematically just, as much as two sides of an algebraic equation.”
The catch that goes with this quote is – we often try to ‘command’ love. For example – someone may think or say, “I love him, but he doesn’t love me back, so this quote isn’t true.”
The thing is, you can’t command love and you can’t or shouldn’t try to impose your will on someone else. The love you give might not come back to you from the person you give it to.
That doesn’t mean the equation is untrue, it means love comes to each of us in its own way and in its own time. And, the term love in the quote doesn’t necessarily mean romantic love, it may mean friendship.
It may be the love of a pet or someone ill who you are caring for, or someone who cares for you when you get sick or infirmed. It’s just so much bigger than the love you find in a single relationship, and it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about love as only being romantic in nature.
Emerson on Pride and Weakness
“As no man had ever a point of pride that was not injurious to him, so no man had ever a defect that was not somewhere made useful to him. Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults. Our strength grows out of our weakness.”
I picked this Emerson quote to add here because vanity, pride, and boastfulness are such a waste of time and energy and they only bring down the ones who tap into them. People who are amazing don’t need to tell you that they are amazing – because you already KNOW.
Plus, some of the most amazing, talented people you could ever hope to encounter, developed that amazingness and their skills – in whatever field – through pain and weakness that was out of their control.
Ralph Waldo Emerson passed away in 1882, so the grammatical styles have changed even though his messages hold true today and always.
So many people in my life have experienced great loss this past year, it makes me feel a little… off… trying to write about gratitude. Today is a day for giving thanks, though, so I want to send out some simple, positive thoughts about being thankful.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” -Melody Beattie
Gratitude and the Holiday Season
So often, Thanksgiving, and the whole holiday season for that matter, gets tied up in expectations that peace and joy are going to bring so much fulfillment to everyone’s lives. Then, the “big day” rolls around and passes – maybe with plenty to be thankful for – maybe not, and everything is still the same at the end of the day. Then all those positive feelings slip away and it’s kind of a bummer.
It’s worth trying to focus on those positive feelings, though. Going back to the Melody Beattie quote – “Gratitude unlocks…” There’s a hidden truth there. Gratitude… thankfulness… it’s more than a feeling you have sometimes. It’s the key that helps you open the door to a more peaceful, fulfilled life.
Is In Your Hands
Gratitude alone won’t fix things, after all, it’s just a key. You have to turn it in the lock. You may even have to fix the lock first. You have to push open the heavy door that’s been made up from your burdens in life so far. You have to walk down the unfamiliar corridor that leads to a better place in life.
What Experiencing Gratitude Does for You
What gratitude does do, is it lets you breathe. It lets you know peace. It connects you emotionally with something bigger than yourself so you can heal and find a way through the dark times.
No matter what is going on in your life as you read this, my wish for you is that you are able to experience gratitude, if not for every little thing in your life, for something. And, I wish you peace and a happy, blessed Thanksgiving.
While I was walking today, I started thinking about what I wanted to be when I was a kid, how that changed over the years, and how I felt about it; so I’m wondering about other people’s experiences with the same topic. What I wanted to be “when I grew up” changed over the years, based on books I read and TV shows I watched, and I guess, on how life knocked me around. Sound familiar?
So Many Life Choices
We start making life choices when we’re really young, even if we are too young to realize it. The thing that really changes as we grow up, is when we’re young, our decisions get made for us. When we get older, we get to make our own choices, and even not making a choice, is a choice. Here’s what I mean, using myself as an example…
Some Decisions Get Made for You
When I was little, like Kindergarten age and younger, I wanted to be a ballerina. Or a princess. Or a writer. I didn’t really care which. To me, they were all amazing because two of them got to wear pretty pink clothes and one gets to play with words and letters all day. (I almost got to take ballet classes, but someone who might as well remain nameless decided I was too fat to be a ballerina.) That’s another story, really, but it’s a perfect example of an adult making a life choice for a child. (By the way, I would still really LOVE to be a princess or ballerina.)
Fate and the laws of nature decided I didn’t get to do this next pair of examples. As I got older, popular media kicked in and I really wanted to be a genie (thanks to I Dream of Jeannie) or a witch (thanks to Bewitched.) Again, I didn’t really care which, I just wanted to be “magic” – you know – something bigger and more exciting than a kid sitting in a room watching TV. Unfortunately, I didn’t know any good spells that worked and no matter how many times I jumped off that picnic table, I just could NOT fly!
Some Things You Choose for Yourself
There were other things over the years that I wanted to do, like being a lawyer so I could help people who were treated unfairly, and being an interpreter so I could help people understand one another. Choices I made, by not staying in college when I was younger, took these out of the equation for me. Going back to college when I was older opened the doors for me to become a writer. (Finally – one of my childhood dreams came true, because I chose it and worked for it.)
A Common Thread in Your Early Life Goals
But, there’s a common thread, and I’m suggesting you look for your common thread…
Everything I ever wanted to be was either creative, empowering, or centered on helping others – and I find it satisfying incorporating those things into my writing. So, maybe, if you, for whatever reason, aren’t living the life of your dreams… maybe you can find a common thread in the things you’ve always loved, and make that common thread part of your life going forward.
So, anyway… this is getting long, and my point isn’t that some things happened to me when I was a kid.
My point is, I hope you’ll take a moment to think back to what you wanted to be when you were a kid.
Did you achieve your childhood dream, or some version of it?
If you didn’t, it isn’t too late.
Are there common threads in the things you dreamt of being?
You may have to dig to find them, but they are usually there and worth the effort and time spent soul-searching.
Can you, today, make choices that make your life more satisfying and fulfilling?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this, so please share if you feel inspired to.
You can’t undo decisions that were made for you when you were a child, and you can’t change your own past decisions either, but you can look for ways to honor that child inside of you who wanted to be magic, or a ballerina, or a lawyer, or whatever YOU wanted to be.
I haven’t posted much here lately, and that’s because I just haven’t been feeling it… My positivity… my enthusiasm… etcetera, etcetera, etcetera… just not feeling it. Giving into that blah feeling and accommodating it with inaction was a mistake, though, and if you do the same thing when you’re just “not feeling it” this post is for you!
Taking Action Makes You Feel Better About Yourself!
I actually just summed up everything I wanted to say in that that one sentence, but I want to add some details to explain why taking action is such a positive thing.
When you summon your inner strength and take action against the things that hold you back, like negative thoughts and your fears, according to Dr. Goldman of Psychology Today, it makes you stronger. Goldman recommends understanding and admitting your fears so you can overcome them.
I like that suggestion, but I also think there’s a fine line between analyzing the fears and emotions that hold you back, and wallowing in them. If you don’t see a post here on Intrinsic Vicissitude from me fairly often, it’s a fair bet that I’ve crossed that line from analyzing to wallowing.
So, where’s your line? And, what can you do today that puts you on the side of the line that lets you bring positivity to your life?
Exercise Helps With a Blah Mood
Okay, that’s not really news… medical experts have been saying it for years. But… and I feel this is a big BUT… when you get bummed, and blah, and you’re just not feeling it, getting even a little bit of exercise can feel as daunting as the idea of climbing a mountain.
The thing, is, it doesn’t take a lot of exercise to boost a blah mood, and it doesn’t have to be exercise that you hate. The kinds of exercise I enjoy tend to be kind of silly and playful, like dancing when I’m alone in my room. The problem is, when I’m bummed, I don’t think about it and I just sit here, being bummed.
According to WebMD, exercise is an effective, underused way to treat depression that’s mild to moderate. And really, isn’t that blah feeling a form of mild depression?
Simple Actions That Make You Feel Positive
If you don’t feel like getting up and working out, I get it. There are still some easy things you can do to boost your mood. get dressed up, smile at yourself in the mirror, and do something you’ve been putting off. It doesn’t have to be big, the fact that you’re checking something off of your to-do list is a simple way to give yourself a burst of positivity.
One last idea, turn on some music that you love, and sing along with it. If you feel up to it, go ahead and dance a little bit, too. And try not to laugh too hard when you picture me dancing around my room all by myself.
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know the secret of life (I wish I did) so I turned to successful people through the ages who provided quotes about the secret of life and the secret of success to create this post.
The Secret to Changing Your Life
“The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates
Think of how many times you’ve railed and fought against the circumstances of your life. It’s so easy to get caught up in where we are, that we don’t see the possibilities that could happen if we just expand the perimeter, shift our focus, or open up the box and think outside of it.
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of success is found in your daily routine.” – Author unknown
The Secret to Changing Your Future
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
It’s normal to want assurance of a positive outcome before you start something. The problem with waiting is, we don’t get guarantees about how life is going to go. The best we can do is get ready, psychologically, without overthinking so much the opportunity is lost.
“Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.” – Henry Ford
The Secret Value of Uncertainty
The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. – Mike Murdock
Almost everyone falls into a routine where the same things happen, in the same order, day in and day out. It’s really rare that anyone breaks out of a routine that isn’t working by sticking with the routine. It’s when you start to make changes in your routine that you start to see changes.
All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. – Martin Buber
Don’t worry if you don’t know how it’ll turn out. If you aren’t satisfied, just start, even if you start small in making routine changes, it’s progress, and if one approach doesn’t work, be like a GPS; recalculate, then go another direction.
No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. – Helen Keller
The Secret of Using Your Inner Values
Don’t let your special character and values, the secret that you know and no one else does, the truth – don’t let that get swallowed up by the great, chewing complacency. – Aesop
Thanks for browsing through this short list of quotes about the secret of life, feel free to leave a comment, sign up for email updates, and be sure to follow Intrinsic Vicissitude on Facebook to stay in touch, too.