All posts by Laure

Ways to Change Your Life When You’re Feeling Lost

Feeling Lost? Browse through these quotes (from wiser people than I am) on ways to change your life to get some potentially revitalizing ideas.

Change Your Life When You're Feeling Lost
Change Your Life When You’re Feeling Lost image courtesy of Pixabay

Ways to Change Your Life if You’re Feeling Lost

Shift your focus to something other than your problems.

“Love people who hate you. Pray for people who have wronged you. It won’t just change their life… it’ll change your life.” – Mandy Hale

Change what you can in a positive manner, even if it’s just something small.

“Small shifts in your thinking, and small changes in your energy, can lead to massive alterations of your end result.” – Kevin Michel

Let it start with the way you think, all change begins inside of our minds.

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

Know there are things in life that you can’t change, accept those things and focus your energies on the things you can influence.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”  – Lao Tzu

Realize we aren’t meant to understand everything, and that’s okay!

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large – I contain multitudes.” – Walt Whitman

Allow yourself to be open to new ideas, you can’t achieve change in life by holding onto the things that have already failed to provide positive results.

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” – Frederich Nietzsche

Learn all you can, read, take classes, search the internet for information, talk to people, take notes, because learning is the foundation upon which you can build a brighter, stronger future.

“Change is the end result of all true learning.”  – Leo F Buscaglia

Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed putting this post together, especially since I was feeling a little lost today myself, and I hope you enjoyed these short quotes about ways to change your life when you’re feeling lost.

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Creating A Google Culture At Your Office

With free meals, nap pods, and on-site doctors, Google employees seem to have the best gig in the world. Google continues to be recognized as having the coolest culture of any company, and its employees can vouch for that. Additional perks Google provides to employees include free dry cleaning, cooking classes, and even death benefits. While some of these benefits may be unrealistic for every company to provide, there are similar perks you can offer that your employees will love. Here are a few ways you can create a Google culture at your office.

Creating a Google Culture at Work
Creating a Google Culture at Work image courtesy of Pixabay

Laid-Back Environment

Google’s relaxed work environment is one of the things employees report loving the most, and something you can recreate in your own office. At Google, employees don’t have to be confined to their desk all day, as there are various lounge areas spread out around the campus. To implement this into your office space, try adding couches and bean bag chairs to give your employees the option of working somewhere other than their desks. While nap pods may be unrealistic for your company, consider giving employees the option to work remotely when needed. Making your office feel less like an office is one big way to create a Google-like culture for your company.

Paid Time Off

Google offers their employees a pretty generous amount of paid time off. Employees report getting three weeks of paid time off for newer employees, and up to five weeks of paid time off once they’ve been with the company for five years. Offering a generous amount of paid time off can be extremely beneficial to not only your employees, but to the overall function of your office. A well-rested, happy employee is more likely to put out good work and make the most of their time at the office, so consider this when an employee asks for some time off. In addition to paid time off, Google also lets employees take up to three months of unpaid sabbatical, in order to travel, go back to school, or work on a passion project.

Workplace Perks

While you may not be able to provide your employees with daily meals and on-site massages, there are countless more realistic perks you can provide to show your employees just how much you appreciate them. Things like having a catered lunch on certain days, free coffee, and office snack delivery service are relatively affordable and will get your employees excited about coming to work. If the weather permits, you can also try heading outside for the day and having your employees work from their laptops. Getting some much-needed fresh air and a change of scenery is something your team will greatly appreciate. If you sense that your employees could use a pick-me-up, get creative and think of some perks that are both realistic and that your team will love.

Intrinsic Vicissitude is honored to partner with SNACKNATION to bring you this post!

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How to Keep Toxic People From Wrecking Your Motivation

No matter how much good you do for others, or how much progress you make in life regarding things you perceive as your own weaknesses, toxic people know how to swoop in like vultures and wreck it for you – but there are some things you can do to keep your cool and stay on your own path.

Maintaining Motivation in the Face of Toxic People
Maintaining Motivation in the Face of Toxic People image courtesy of Pixabay (Exercise step like the one I mention in the article – only mine is pink and purple.)

The Backstory Behind this Post About Maintaining Motivation and Not Letting Toxic People Get to You

I want to share the story of a recent trip I made to the local Goodwill store as an example of what I mean.

A random encounter with a totally toxic crone is the inspiration for these tips;

(I know, I shouldn’t call her a crone, but she wasn’t Cinderella, and if the shoe fits…) 

First, I have been exercising daily for 63 days now. I alternate resistance training with cardio, and I’m doing it for my health, and I have been looking for something to work my glutes and thighs, but I’m a budget shopper so I was at Goodwill.

My entire goal in exercising is to get stronger and be able to enjoy some active things, like hiking and riding a bicycle this summer – if I lose any weight – that will just be a happy bonus.

Whether I lose weight or not is completely irrelevant to me – I just want to be able to enjoy life and do active things without getting out of breath and wondering if my heart is going to give out.

Sure, if I do lose some weight, I’ll be happy about it, but it’s not my goal.

So, anyway, I found an exercise step at Goodwill for $4.50, and I thought, “Hey, that would be a great addition to my exercise gear!”  and I stuck it in my cart.

This short, chubby, older woman came up, looked in my cart, and asked what it was.

(What kind of idiot snoops through stranger’s carts at Goodwill anyway? That’s not normal!)

I explained it’s a step to use for exercising at home.

(Exercising… NOT losing weight – there’s a difference! Diffferent goals, different motivation.)

She replied that she had tried many times to lose weight, and her daughter had lost 80 pounds a few years ago, and they both gained it all back – and she went on to say that NO ONE EVER loses weight and keeps it off.

(Bold statement to assign her own failure and her daughter’s failure to every living person on the whole planet given there are 7.5 billion people living here, but… okay…) 

Finally, before she left, she looked me up and down to assure herself that I was, in fact, fat, then she wished me luck… and told me not to feel bad when it doesn’t work.

(At no point in the conversation had I said a SINGLE WORD about weight loss – that was this random stranger’s BAGGAGE, not mine.)

I smiled and nodded, all the while imagining myself smacking her with said exercise step – I didn’t though – I prayed for her black, ugly soul to gain some insight, for her to evolve into a decent human being that doesn’t need to crush others for no reason, for her daughter to escape her insanity, and for the toxic woman’s rotund, stubby body to gain at least 80 more pounds.

(I know, not the world’s nicest prayer, but I truly meant the nice parts, and at least I didn’t hit her with an exercise step…)

The encounter got me thinking about how many toxic people we come into contact with, and how deeply they can affect us when the only thing they are really doing is trying to reduce the pain and disappointment they feel in regards to their own pathetic lives.

If my only goal in exercising had been weight loss, though, this encounter might have sent me home crying with a  chocolate cake and left me giving up my efforts permanently.

The toxic woman would have likely defeated me if she had managed to correctly guess my goal in exercising, so I guess I was lucky that her baggage about not losing weight was different than my own.

Ways to Keep Toxic People From Wrecking Your Motivation

I’ve already hinted at the first two ways I want to suggest for preserving your own resolve in the face of abuse toxic people.

  • Pray for them, or send out good vibes if you’re not a praying person. Put your own anger aside long enough to truly wish the other person well. You can do that by praying for them or by simply sending some good vibes their way. It doesn’t matter if that person knows you wish them well, in fact, I think it’s better for YOU if they don’t. It’s for your sake. It helps you let it go of the hurt, offended feelings so you can move on.
  • Don’t own someone else’s emotional baggage. Realize that no matter how wrong they are, they just reflecting their own pain onto your situation. It has NOTHING to do with you. Sure, it’s still aggravating, but don’t pick up someone else’s baggage, let them carry their own burden.
  • Trust your own goals and motivation. Focus on your goals, and your reasons. If you don’t have a strong goal or a strong reason, think of one. Life is an ongoing process, and if you let one toxic person wreck your path, then they’ve won. You deserve to forge your own way, for your own reasons.
  • Vent and let off steam if you have to. Find a way to get it off your chest and just let it go. I’ll admit, that’s what I’m doing with this blog post, and if blogging about it would help you, feel free to snatch the idea.
  • Use what you’re feeling to help someone else. Nothing refocuses you quicker than reaching out a hand to help someone else. Use your words to share how it felt, teach your kids to eat healthier, or do whatever you feel right about to help someone else live a better, healthier, more positive life.

I wanted to turn what I was feeling after this encounter around and turn it into something positive that would have a chance of helping someone else. So, I tried to put a little humor in it.

Thanks for reading, and while I hope you don’t ever encounter anyone toxic who makes you feel small and worthless like that toxic, nasty woman tried to make me feel, if you do, keep these things in mind and give them a try.

 

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3 Super Easy Ways to Treat Yourself Better!

Life can be so challenging and complicated, and it’s easy to put your own needs last when things get overwhelming. It’s okay to treat yourself better, though, because just like a little kindness goes a long way when dealing with difficult people, a little kindness goes a  long way in restoring your spirits when thigns have been rough.

Treat Yourself Better
Treat Yourself Better image courtesy of Pixabay

3 Ways to Treat Yourself Better

It doesn’t take long to get burned out when you’re working hard and life’s challenges are kicking your rear. That’s one reason why it’s okay to be kind to yourself.

  1. Bring on the Self-Care: Doing something positive for yourself, even something small, can help you feel better about life. Just taking the time to paint your nails or soak away sore muscles in a bubble bath can help rejuvenate your spirits sometimes.
  2. Read Something Inspirational: Positive books and websites that share positivity tips offer an easy source of motivation when you need a little boost. (That’s actually why this website exists, so be sure to bookmark it or sign up for email updates to save you even more time.
  3. Make Time to Do Something You Truly Enjoy: When you’re busy, it’s so easy to push aside the things that feel less important, but you shouldn’t. Even if you can only spare ten or fifteen minutes a day on something you enjoy, it gives you a  psychological boost that helps carry you through the day.
    1. (I’m actually really bad about following my own advice on this one. I love sewing, and when I’m busy with work, I don’t make time to sew. But I should, because it re-energizes me and makes me happy. So, I’ll be working on taking my own advice.)

Why Self-Compassion Is So Important

It’s easy to be compassionate toward others, easier than it is to treat yourself with compassion and take what you need once in a while, but self-compassion is pretty important in this life, too.

“However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. While there is life, there is hope.” – Stephen Hawking

While not exactly about treating yourself well, that quote from Stephen Hawking speaks to why it’s so important to practice a little self-compassion.

When you’re good to yourself, it’s easier to be good to others. It inspires positive feelings that ripple outward and put positive energy in the world. It boosts your confidence. It builds hope – not just your own sense of hope, but it also builds a sense of hope in those who interact with you.

By Laure Justice



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Are You Practicing Stress or Practicing Peace?

I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, more than normal, and one thing I often do when I get stressed is look for quotes about inner peace.  I found some that really touched me a couple minutes ago, and I decided to share them here for anyone else who’s feeling the stress and not the peace today.

Practicing Peace
Practicing Peace image courtesy of Pixabay

Stress or Peace?

I like this quote so much because it speaks to the fact that we get a choice and the thoughts and actions we choose affect the outcome we get.

“Every day brings a choice to practice stress or to practice peace.” – Joan Borysenko

That was it… simple… concise… the perfect reminder to just chill.

Where’s your Power?

I picked this second quote because I find it so easy to fall into the role of feeling like a victim when things pile up around me.

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power lies!” – author unknown

It’s a gentle reminder that how you respond to things is where your power lies.

Your Chance to Grow

This last quote is another gentle reminder, or was for me and I hope it will be for you, that even when things seem bleak, it can be your chance to start fresh.

“Sometimes, when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.” – Christine Caine

So, make of that what you will, but keep in mind that the bullsh!t that gets heaped on your shoulders (from wherever and from whomever) can be used (by you) as amazing fertilizer to grow your future.

Updated to remove the typo from the title…. oops!

by: Laure Justice

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Trolls, Dream Stealers and Frienemies – How to Identify & Deal With Toxic People

Trolls, Dream Stealers and Frienemies – How to Identify & Deal With Toxic People
By Kimberly Englot

You don’t have to go very far to find negativity. Just watch the news, listen to the radio, even on the internet and in social media, it can feel like where ever people gather, complaining, whining and negativity will follow.

Keep your attitude positive, and you’ll find more things to be positive about. Life will get better, you’ll feel happier. The secret is surrounding yourself with good people, and avoiding the rest. Avoid these 3 people if possible:

Troll. Trolls are funny creatures. They lie waiting for someone to say something and then BOOM they will swoop in and burst the bubble.

A troll is someone who comes in and says something destructive to you or about you, with no purpose other than to cause a reaction. You probably don’t even know this person. This happens a lot online. Through email, Facebook, Twitter and on blog, people are able to say things they wouldn’t dare do face-to-face.

· When a troll comes into your life, delete the message instantly (if possible).

· Do not reply to it.

· Do not try to soothe the person.

· All they are looking for is attention, so by not giving it to them you win and they will disappear. (If they don’t you have a completely different kind of toxic person – a stalker, and you should notify authorities and report the person).

Dream-Stealer. This person likes to be realistic. You have some exciting news, or a great idea, or a big dream and all they want to do is make you see all the possible chances for failure. They say things to make you doubt yourself. They also love to be right and will do what they can to make sure that they’re right and you’re wrong. They also enjoy being able to say, “I told you so.”

· Simplest way to deal with a Dream-Stealer is to protect your good news.

· If you have something to share, got a great idea, or have an opportunity coming up do not tell this person first. Tell others first. This protects yours positive energy.

Frienemy. This someone who is a Friend and an Enemy. I encourage you to look at this kind of friend…is someone who treats you this badly really a friend? How do you know you have one?

· You dread calling them if you have good news.

· You always feel worse after spending time with them.

· You have been friends for a long time, but aren’t sure why you have kept in touch.

· You become someone you don’t like when you’re with them. (whiny, complainy, negative).

· If you have a frienemy….talk to them about it if you want to remain friends (they may not be aware of it)

· If you don’t want to remain friends just stop spending so much time with them. If avoiding them bothers you, tell them outright that you are in different places in life and have nothing in common any more.

Toxic people have a way of draining the life energy from you, leaving you negative, numb and unsure of how to deal with them.

These kinds of toxic people can be really hard to deal with alone. If you are currently dealing with a “Troll,” “Dream-Stealer” or “Frienemy you’ll want to join me for the Happiness & Harmony Makeover, where I’m covering in detail exactly what to look out for AND how to deal with these kinds of negative people in your life.

It’s FREE and you can sign up at http://kimberlyenglot.com/hhteleseminar.

About the Author: Kimberley Englot teaches success-driven women how to create the life vision they crave, have the courage to pursue it and live it from a purely authentic place so they can enjoy all the happiness, freedom and success they deserve.

Kimberly is the founder of the Center of Authentic Self Development. Learn more about her programs and gain access to FREE coaching, inspiration & advice at: http://www.kimberlyenglot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Kimberly_Englot/43152

http://EzineArticles.com/?Trolls,-Dream-Stealers-and-Frienemies—How-to-Identify-and-Deal-With-Toxic-People&id=3786523

Thanks for visiting Intrinsic Vicissitude. I hope you enjoyed this great article by Kimberly Englot. To get the latest updates from intrinsic Vicissitude delivered to your inbox, sign up for our email notifications. 

 

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4 Calming Quotes for Stressful Days

Everyone has stressful days, and I wanted to share these four calming quotes for anyone who is feeling a bit on edge. I hope you enjoy them and find some inspiration in them.

Calm Quotes for Stressful Days
Calm Quotes for Stressful Days image courtesy of Pixabay

Having a Stressful Day?
Check Out These 4 Calming Quotes

“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” – Charles Spurgeon

I tend to be a “worrier” so I found this first quote from Charles Spurgeon to be a calming reminder that worrying isn’t going to fix anything, and all it does is cause more stress.

“Getting stress out of your life takes more than prayer alone. You must take action to make changes and stop doing whatever is causing the stress. You can learn to calm down in the way you handle things.” – Joyce Meyer

If all you do is worry (I’ve done this many times) and not take action, the worry isn’t going to go away and will most likely even get more intense. Sometimes, we have to just make the best decision we can based on the information we have, and take action.

“Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty.” – Thomas Jefferson

Another one about taking action – from one of the founding fathers of the United States. This one is  a little more intense, because it speaks to the way people will accept a bad situation that’s controlling their lives instead of fighting – or taking action – to get free of the unwanted situation.

“I don’t think you should always stay calm in a tense situation, because you might not ever confront the problem. Maybe it’s better to actually let yourself be tense – and find a solution.” -Yoko Ono

I surprised myself when I picked this Yoko Ono quote, because I guess I don’t “identify” with her at all. But, I felt her quote was the perfect one to close this post with because it blends the earlier quotes into one simple theme.

Here’s the theme” Stop worrying and take (smart) action instead.

By Laure Justice



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How to Save Money Without Being Gross: Unusual Budgeting Tips

It’s possible to save money without being disgusting, gross, or so cheap people make jokes about your penny pinching ways for years to come…

Unusual Budgeting Tips
Unusual Budgeting Tips image courtesy of Pixabay

This article is dedicated to a cheap woman who used to save leftover oatmeal after breakfast and then serve it again and again, day after day, until someone finally choked it down or dumped it in the trash when she wasn’t looking.

Everyone already knows the usual tips about cutting costs and tracking your income and how much you spend. (By the way, those are important!) But, these tips from Intrinsic Vicissitude are designed to point you in the direction to get started with a budget.

Easy and Unusual Budgeting Tips

These easy and unusual budgeting tips can be helpful to anyone.

If you are not careful, you can land yourself in lots of trouble when it comes to money. When dealing with a budget, you want to take control of your finances, and create a budget that will help you reach your financial goals.

These unusual budgeting tips are easy and simple to try. Creating a new budget and getting out of debt can be accomplished. Budgeting tips are important, to keep good credit and stay out-of-debt.

Listed below are five unusual budget tips:

  1. Less Checking accounts- to avoid maintenance fees and transactions
  2. Use Coupons- They help you save money
  3. Set Up Automatic Transfers
  4. Turn Down your heat
  5. Turn Down your Air Conditioner

Avoid Bank Fees

When it comes to checking accounts, it’s hard to keep up with one account, let alone many others. Fewer accounts save you more money.

Couponing

Everyone loves to get a bargain. When you cut coupons or print them out, you can save money on your monthly grocery bills, personal shopping, and personal care. You can go to Coupon.com, where you can print-out lot’s of savings.

Bundle Up

When it’s cold outside, winter bills can be daunting. To save money and keep warm, turn down your thermostat a few degrees and wear warmer clothes, and you will see the savings.

Lose a Layer of Clothes

Just the opposite of bundling up to keep warm, lose a layer of clothes to keep cool. You can save when you keep your air conditioner set around 73 degrees. This is a comfortable setting will save you lots of money.

Creating a budget is worth the time investment. It’s the first step in successfully maintaining a budget, and saving money. It’s also a perfect way to scrape together some money to invest.

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3 Elegant Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes

Ralph Waldo Emerson was one of the founders of the mid-19th century transcendental movement, known for his profound and inspiring way of thinking, his eloquent speeches and his stirring writing style. These three profound Emerson quotes are always true, even though the language in them is a bit dated.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson image by Artist: Eastman Johnson [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Emerson on the Law of Nature

“The law of nature is, do the thing, and you shall have the Power; but they who do not do the thing have not the Power.”

While Emerson used the word Power in this quote, note that he capitalized it because it meant more than the type of power we typically think of when hearing the word. The Power is the Result of your efforts.

This quote invites you to take the action in life that is going to give you the results you want. And, it also kind of warns you that if you choose not to act, you most likely won’t get what you want.

Emerson on Love

“Love and you shall be loved. All love is mathematically just, as much as two sides of an algebraic equation.”

The catch that goes with this quote is – we often try to ‘command’ love. For example – someone may think or say, “I love him, but he doesn’t love me back, so this quote isn’t true.”

The thing is, you can’t command love and you can’t or shouldn’t try to impose your will on someone else. The love you give might not come back to you from the person you give it to.

That doesn’t mean the equation is untrue, it means love comes to each of us in its own way and in its own time. And, the term love in the quote doesn’t necessarily mean romantic love, it may mean friendship.

It may be the love of a pet or someone ill who you are caring for, or someone who cares for you when you get sick or infirmed. It’s just so much bigger than the love you find in a  single relationship, and it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about love as only being romantic in nature.

Emerson on Pride and Weakness

“As no man had ever a point of pride that was not injurious to him, so no man had ever a defect that was not somewhere made useful to him. Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults. Our strength grows out of our weakness.”

I picked this Emerson quote to add here because vanity, pride, and boastfulness are such a waste of time and energy and they only bring down the ones who tap into them. People who are amazing don’t need to tell you that they are amazing – because you already KNOW.

Plus, some of the most amazing, talented people you could ever hope to encounter, developed that amazingness and their skills – in whatever field – through pain and weakness that was out of their control.

Ralph Waldo Emerson passed away in 1882, so the grammatical styles have changed even though his messages hold true today and always.

By Laure Justice

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Experiencing Gratitude

So many people in my life have experienced great loss this past year, it makes me feel  a little… off… trying to write about gratitude. Today is a day for giving thanks, though, so I want to send out some simple, positive thoughts about being thankful.

Experiencing Gratitude
Experiencing Gratitude image courtesy of Pixabay

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” -Melody Beattie

Gratitude and the Holiday Season

So often, Thanksgiving, and the whole holiday season for that matter, gets tied up in expectations that peace and joy are going to bring so much fulfillment to everyone’s lives. Then, the “big day” rolls around and passes – maybe with plenty to be thankful for – maybe not, and everything is still the same at the end of the day. Then all those positive feelings slip away and it’s kind of a bummer.

The Key…

It’s worth trying to focus on those positive feelings, though. Going back to the Melody Beattie quote – “Gratitude unlocks…” There’s a hidden truth there. Gratitude… thankfulness… it’s more than a feeling you have sometimes. It’s the key that helps you open the door to a more peaceful, fulfilled life.

Is In Your Hands

Gratitude alone won’t fix things, after all, it’s just a key. You have to turn it in the lock. You may even have to fix the lock first. You have to push open the heavy door that’s been made up from your burdens in life so far. You have to walk down the unfamiliar corridor that leads to a better place in life.

What Experiencing Gratitude Does for You

What gratitude does do, is it lets you breathe. It lets you know peace. It connects you emotionally with something bigger than yourself so you can heal and find a way through the dark times.

No matter what is going on in your life as you read this, my wish for you is that you are able to experience gratitude, if not for every little thing in your life, for something. And, I wish you peace and a happy, blessed Thanksgiving.

I picked the Melody Beattie quote above because, one, it’s about gratitude and today is Thanksgiving, and two, one of her books had a huge influence on me. The book was called Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, and it helped me see my own role in the problematic relationships in my life. (FYI – that’s an affiliate link.)

By Laure Justice

 

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